Twas The Night Before Christmas

WOW...2 posts in 1 week, I am getting better. I just finished filling out one of those "Get to Know you Better - Christmas Version" (Thanks Bethany) thingys and it made me think of something that happened the other night.

We usually read out of a Bible storybook that Nana got him before he goes to bed, and pray together and off to sleep he goes. Well, after we moved into our new apartment before Thanksgiving, we had to move back in with my BFF until Timmy finished his semester of school, so the book got left up in Acworth. Well, Timmy still wanted a story, so the first night Daddy told him the Christmas story about Baby Jesus born in a manger, and the shepherds, etc.

The next couple of nights, we just read regular books, but one night last weekend, I put him in the bed without reading him a book, and he quickly reminded me. "I need a story" So, I decided to tell him "Twas the Night Before Christmas". I had quoted this story in High School for a Christmas play, so I thought, Sure, I remember it and off I started. This is how it went...

Twas the Night Before Christmas, and ALL through the house,
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse (I emphasized these lines so Timmy's eyes got big as bugs and he is hanging on EVERY word - it was so cute)
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care
In hopes that Saint Nicholas soon would be there
And Mom in her kerchief and I in my hat
Had just settled down for a long winter's nap
And then...I started drawing a blank...oops...Timmy is STILL looking at me with those precious BUG eyes...and I am struggling here...so I continue with what I think is correct and then add some...here goes.

When out on the lawn, there arose such a clatter
I sprang to my feet to see what was the matter
I threw open the shutters and flew up the sash (as I said that line I was like...that ain't right - but Timmy had no clue...so I kept going)
And what do my wondering eyes should appear but
Santa's sleigh and 8 tiny reindeer.

NOTE: I could NOT remember what was next...I paused...I paused...Timmy said, what happened next. So, I ad libbed the rest of the story...here is how Timmy thinks this story ends.

Santa grabbed his bag full of toys, and flew down the chimney
He had a truck for Tommy and a doll for Suzie
And after eating the cookies and drinking the milk,
He went back up the chimney to his sleigh and reindeers.
And as he flew off the roof you could hear him say,
"Merry Christmas to all and to all a Goodnight"
So, that was the end, and when I said that last line. Timmy reached up and hugged me and said, "Mommy, that was a great Christmas story." His precious little self didn't even know that it was not the complete story. I hope that one day when I read the "REAL" Twas the Night Before Christmas story to him, that he doesn't realize I told him the wrong one before.

The next night he wanted "Frosty the Snowman" - I won't EVEN tell you how that one went. Kids...they believe anything!

The Butterfly Award

I was given the Butterfly Award for my blog from one of my precious friends Coach Mom Says. I have chosen some of the blogs I follow to receive this award also. Here they are.

1. Coach Mom Says
2. SoonToBeMeltons
3. Chapters
4. His-beloved
5. Skinner Family Adventures

Now they need to "pass it on"

Have a blessed Tuesday!

Tis the Season

I have been meaning to post a new blog entry for a while, but I just haven't seemed to find the words to get out what I have wanted to say. So, if this seems all jumbled, forgive me. Here goes...

My facebook status currently states: "Elizabeth is wondering why this "Season of Giving" is only for Christmas...what happens to those people in February, even June - why not have a year long "season of giving"." If you have read any of my recent blogs, you know that Ed and I have been relying on God for daily sustenance for spiritual food and regular food. So, I have a taste of what it's like to be in need. Anyway, I listen to the radio on the way to work, and they are talking about Angel Tree, and Operation Christmas Child, and it got me thinking about my status. Why do we spend so much time and money making sure that these "needy" people's needs are met during the Christmas season. Why not have a year round season of giving?!?! Sometimes I think we as Christians feel that if we give to the poor and needy at Christmas, that it gives us our "quota" so to speak for the year. But I am here to testify that without those Christians helping us in September, October and November...where would we be right now. When is the last time that you gave selflessly of your time, your money, YOU, without expecting ANYTHING in return. I finished reading a book entitled "Field of the Fatherless" loaned to us by Sara Beth from ISF. (Ed and I have been praying about adoption for our future and Sara Beth recommended reading this book). Let me just tell you, this book changed my outlook on LIFE! In the Bible it says: “Blessed be God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort; Who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted by God.” (2Cor 1:3-4) What He has done for us is what He requires that we do for others. There isn't a single person out there that can tell me that GOD hasn't "comforted" you in your tribulation. Even when Ed and I felt at our lowest point these past couple of months...God was STILL there in that valley and HE was still in control. As I said, I have a new outlook on life. I want my heart, soul, spirit, countenance to REFLECT the Lord Jesus Christ! I want people to look at me and see something different. I want them to see my precious Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ who came to this earth to die for ME. For my sins. I deserve Hell...but HE SAVED ME! That in and of itself should be enough to make you jump for joy...we have the awesome privilege of spending eternity with the King of Kings!!! AMAZING!!!

I want to challenge each and everyone of you to do something... are you ready.... here it is....

When you do anything...think of others.

Sounds easy doesn't it. It wasn't easy for me at first, but now it's becoming what I do. For example...Road Rage...yep, I used to have Road Rage. I got SO frustrated when people would ride my bumper and then swoop over to a different lane at the last minute. I would get so mad when people would drive slow in the fast lane. I would get frustrated when people wouldn't let me over when I had my turn signal on or wouldn't let me turn left out of a street. But I heard a song on the radio by Brandon Heath called "Give Me Your Eyes". Let me just tell you...you won't have Road Rage for long listening to that song. The chorus goes like this:

Give me your eyes for just one second
Give me your eyes so I can see
Everything that I keep missing
Give me your love for humanity
Give me your arms for the broken hearted
The ones that are far beyond my reach
Give me your heart for the ones forgotten
Give me your eyes so I can see

How many times have we looked at someone the way JESUS looks at someone. With the same compassion that HE does. So, I started changing my heart...I started changing my mind...I started making a conscious effort to think of others...I started looking at all of those drivers in those cars in Atlanta, GA with the eyes of Jesus. So, when I am sitting in traffic at the end of a work day, and I go 6 miles in 30 minutes...I let people in front of me....I hold up traffic on a busy two lane road to allow someone needing to turn left to turn left...I don't get angry at the driver who practically takes my bumper off when he swoops over to a new lane...I just smile and keep driving. And this is just in driving....when I go through the drive thru at McDonalds to get that morning cup of Joe...I smile at the cashiers and say, "Have a great day"...who knows...maybe they needed that...maybe they had a rude customer earlier that ruined their day. You never know who you are going to bless by seeing like Jesus, loving like Jesus, and living FOR Jesus.

I am not saying all of this to toot my own horn. I am not saying that I am by any means perfect (because my husband and kids can tell you I'm not). I am just challenging you to do something in your life to make a difference in someone else's life, that will ultimately change yours and give you the HEART of Jesus!

Because you never know....you may be the one that needs to turn left one day!

When It Rains

Yesterday felt like 4 days long, but it was only 24 hours. Here's the rundown of my day...

Ed wakes me up at 5:10am and tells me Timmy is throwing up and he doesn't have his contacts in so he can't see if it's blood. My first thought is..."Oh no, it's the color of blood" - I then go into the bathroom to see my precious baby boy standing over the toilet throwing up non-stop. I go over and start rubbing his back and look to see if it's blood. It's not, it's the remnants of supper the night before, pancakes and syrup. He finishes and asks for some water, then goes back to bed. I normally get up for work at 5:30am, so I decided to stay up and start getting ready. Well, as I was getting ready, he throws up again, and again. We decided to put him in the bed with Ed so he doesn't have to go so far to get to the bathroom.

Around 6:45, I leave for work. Where we are living right now in Newnan is about 45 miles to work. I don't have to be there untili 8am, but with Atlanta traffic, it sometimes takes me over an hour. I head out on 85North and about 15 miles into the trip, my car makes this sound like it dropped something on the highway, and then won't go when I push the gas. By God's grace, I was right next to an exit, so I merge onto the exit ramp, and have to stop at the traffic light because of traffic. Well, as soon as I stop moving, the car won't move again. So, here I am on the exit ramp, with 15 or so cars behind me, and I can't get the car to move. I knew that we had roadside assistance with our Sprint Cell Phone plan, but I wasn't sure how to use it, so I needed to call Ed. I also knew that his cell phone is plugged into the outlet in the bonus room. So, I call Jenn (my BF that I am living with) and ask her to get Ed to get his phone. She tells me that she has been throwing up since about 6am, but was scheduled to substitute that morning and was going in anyway. So, Ed gets on the phone, I tell him that the car broke down, and then he says, "Hold on...I think I am going to be sick. I'll call you back." I was like great....whatever happens with the car...I can't go to work because I needed to go home and take care of my boys. Silas hadn't been throwing up, so I knew that I needed to protect him from Ed and Timmy. Back to the car...I decided to turn off the car and start it again to see if it would move, and PTL it did...I was able to move it up the ramp and turn right into a Shell gas station. Then...it wouldn't move anymore, so I parked it. In the meantime, Jenn called me to ask me what exit I was on...I told her and she said that is the same exit she is getting off for work. So, she was going to pick me up at the Shell station, I was going to take her to work, and then I would have her car for the day while we tried to figure out what was wrong with mine.

Let me just say, that I feel it was NO coincidence that I broke down near enough to the same exit that Jenn was going to be driving by...God's HAND was in this situation. As hard as it is knowing that the van is broke, and Ed and I don't have the money to fix it...God is still in control.

Back to my day, I called my dad, because he is pretty familiar with cars, and I describe to him what the car did, and he said, "Sounds like the transmission, not an easy fix." I threw up my hands and went WHAT NOW GOD!?! It seems like ever since we pulled out of UMHB to move to GA, we have been met with trials...but like I said before...God orchestrated the events that brought us to this point. My mom got on the phone and as always, gave me the MOST encouraging words that I needed to hear. (Side note: from the moment that Ed and I felt God leading us to Georgia, my mom has ALWAYS had the right words to say to be EXACTLY what I needed to hear. All those times we felt like giving up and throwing in the towel and moving back to Tx. Mom was there... So, Mom...if you are reading this....THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart for EVERYTHING you have said...God is using you in a MIGHTY way in our lives. I LOVE YOU so much!) She told me, that this didn't surprise God, and HE will take care of us.

The SPRINT RR Assistance program, only gives you 3 miles free for towing. I looked around me and saw nothing that looked like a auto garage in the area. She then said, it was $4 to $7 for each mile after that and they only take cash. Well, surprise, surprise...I didn't have cash on me. She also said that it would be free if the tow truck to me back to their shop. She said sometimes they have mechanics there also. So, Mom had told me to pray, pray, pray before she hung up, so that's what I did. I sat in my van at this Shell gas station, and just cried out to God. I prayed that God would send a tow truck that would have a mechanic at their shop. Because I knew I could not pay for more than 3 miles. I waited...I waited...I waited....in the meantime, Ed calls me back and tells me HE has thrown up at 8 times, and Timmy is now dry heaving and that I needed to come home and take care of Silas so he didn't have to get near him. I told him I had Jenn's car, but I had to wait with the van until the tow truck got there.

The tow truck arrived. This towing company did not have a mechanic, but he told me that he would give me 5 miles free, and the nearest auto shop was 4 1/2 miles (God is watching out for me). He also looked at the engine and checked some things and said it looks like the transmission. He said the auto shop that he was taking me to, didn't work on transmissions, but it was a family owned business, and they would take care of me. (God is watching over me) On the way over, the tow truck man called ahead and told them what was going on, so when I got there, all I had to do was sign something I left to head to Newnan.

I got home about 10:15...Ed and Timmy hadn't thrown up since about 9:30 so they were both resting. I got Silas up fed him breakfast, and we went to Kroger to get Sprite, Gatorade and Chicken Noodle Soup for the sickly.

The rest of the day was spent going up and down the stairs fixing drink, soup, crackers for the sick ones and trying to figure out how I was going to get to work the rest of the week. I just started a new job and I don't have any personal days earned yet...so I couldn't afford to miss another day of work.

Later that afternoon, I started feeling nauseous too. I was like, "Oh no, not me too" I had to go pick up Jenn at 3:30, and had to keep pulling over because I felt like I had to throw up. Luckily, I didn't...and those feelings passed after a while. (I have a cold/sinus drainage, so I think that is what was making me feel nauseous.)

Anyway, Ed and Timmy stayed up stairs in the family room or our bedroom all day. Silas was very needy....everytime I left the room to get something, he cried out for me. By the end of the day, Jenn, Ed and Timmy felt much better. However, Jenn's husband Ryan (who has staying at his parents with their 3 year old daughter) came home throwing up too. So, in the household of 7, 4 of them were sick with the flu...NOT FUN!

But...Tuesday is a new day...Timmy went to school....I went to work, and Ed is eating again. All is well in the Lockwood household.

Living By Faith

Ok...this is WAY overdue. I really need to get in the daily habit of blogging for all my friends and family in Texas!!! I promise I will try and do better :)

Since arriving to Georgia, God has DEFINITELY been teaching Ed and I lessons upon lessons. Let me start off by saying that we KNOW God wants us here, but things have been rough for us. There have been MANY, MANY times where either Ed or myself have said, "Let's just go back to Texas." We have literally fallen on our faces before God and cried out to HIM for re-assurance. We never thought when we got here that it would take so long for me to find a job. We arrived on September 1st and I didn't start working full time until November 3rd. 2 full months without money coming in...yikes! Fortunately for us, God used my parents to bless us tremendously with money to help us make ends meet. We also had some very special friends send us money as well.

Through our financial crunch came lesson #1 - I now know what it's like to not know how you are going to feed your children. When you get to this point, you have no where else to look but UP. God has given me a heart for those needy, poor, hurting souls out there. When you don't have much, it makes you appreciate every single meal you eat, every piece of clothes you have, the roof above your head. The fact that you know your children will be warm at night. My God has provided for ALL our needs! He has proved faithful!

Getting my job came lesson #2 - Patience. Patience. Patience. When we try to "take hold" of the reins of our life, then things are chaotic. I can't tell you how many resumes I sent through email, how many on-line applications I filled out - at least 200 plus. I had 3 interviews and the 3rd interview was with Life. The 1st two, I had NO peace at all when I left. I knew that wasn't where God wanted me. But when I had my interview at Life...I could actually see myself sitting at that desk. I had a vision of a pic of Ed and I on the corner of the desk. I had a GREAT interview with one of the professors. I felt very confident upon leaving. It was a Monday, and they told me that I would hear by Thursday of that week. Well, Thursday came and went, Friday, came and went. I was so disappointed. I couldn't believe that I didn't get it. I went home to NC for the weekend to visit my family to get my mind off the fact that I thought that was the job God had for me. When I arrived back to Georgia on Sunday, I started once again the normal chore of a Sunday night looking in the paper for jobs and applying for those I was interested in. Still, I was very unsettled about not getting the job at Life. I started questioning if I was even good enough for any job. Ed was extremely encouraging to me. He told me that I needed to call Life on Monday and see if they had filled the position. He said, "until you know if it's filled, you may still be in the pool of candidates." So, I called the HR dept at Life and they told me that they had not received any documents stating who they were offering the position to. So, I called the professor who I interviewed with, and he told me that he remembered me and they still hadn't decided. The interviews had to get pushed back that had been scheduled later in the week, and they needed to meet with the department heads to decide. Well...that got me excited...there was still a chance. The next Wednesday, I attended Substitute Training for Coweta county schools. I was going to be a sub until I found a full time job. That afternoon I was in Kroger buying some groceries, and I got the call...the answer to my prayers....Life University was offering me a full time job. I WAS THRILLED! If I hadn't been in Kroger then I would have screamed. My heart started beating so fast!!! My start date was November 3rd. I really enjoy working here. The professors I work for are great and I am doing what I went to college for. :) The only bad part is that Life University is in Marietta, GA which is about 40 miles from Newnan, GA where my friend lives. But in Atlanta traffic, it takes me anywhere from 1 hour to 1 1/2 hours to get to work and the same amount of time to get home. That can be tiring, but I just sing away with my IPOD...Im good to go :) I don't get to see the kids except for 2 hours a day Mon-Fri, but on the 22nd of November, we are moving into our apartment that is about 10 miles from where I work, so the commute will be much less. Can't wait to see all my stuff that has been in storage for so long...it's going to be like Christmas.

There is much more I could write, but I will close for now. I am really hoping that I can blog on a regular basis. I don't want all my Texas friends to think I fell off the planet in Georgia! We have taken some pics of the kids recently, so I will try to get those up as well.

Love you guys!

A Night To Remember

I write in anticipation for Friday night - my last Diva night with the ladies at my church. Those ladies that I like to call my family! We have had MANY Diva nights full of memories...and I know that this one will be the best one ever! I have been sitting here reading some blogs that I regularly read, and I started getting emotional thinking about the ladies that God has placed in my life. Each one of these ladies that will be joining me tomorrow night has made a mark on my life. A mark that will NEVER go away. Some are spiritual markers, others are friendship markers. These are ladies that I will TRULY miss with all that is within me when I move to Atlanta. I know that as mothers, we don't always get a chance to share what each of us means to each other...time is never our friend. The kids usually take up a lot of our time. (Thank God for ALL the children represented in this group of ladies!!!!) But I just want to share a little bit about some of the ladies that will keep a piece of my heart in Texas.

Bethany Waters - wife of my husband's best friend. I know we don't get to spend as much time together as we would like. But you have encouraged me so much spiritually over all these years...especially recently! I am amazed at the work that God is doing in your life. 8 years is a long time, and we have been through a lot together, we have SO many memories --- I will never forget that night that you were pregnant with Faith and I was pregnant with Timmy, and we went to the convenient store up the road because we were craving ice cream...Tim and Ed just laughed at us...but it's a memory in my book that I will never forget. Speaking of Faith...I remember when you and Tim were trying for so long to get pregnant after Hannah, and it seemed like all around us the Lord was blessing everyone with a child...everyone but you...I remember how hard it was on you...you never spoke it out loud, but I could tell...oh how I prayed that God would give you another child...and when you called me on that June day and told me you were pregnant...what an answer to prayer!!!! I still remember where I was when I got your call...and then, I called Ed...and these were his words to me, "Now, you and I can get pregnant. I didn't want us to get pregnant until Bethany did." And in God's beautiful timing, HE allowed us to be pregnant at the same time. That was so fun to do together! I will NEVER forget you Bethany...even though I'll be so far away...you will always have a piece of my heart! I love you Sister!

Shelly Cook - girl...where do I begin?!?!? I know I have told you before, but I feel a connection to your soul that I can't describe. I was reading through my journal tonight and I found an entry on March 6, 2005 that states, "Lord, at Home Group tonight, I felt you leading me to draw Shelly out and encourage her." I still remember that night as if it was yesterday. It wasn't like we weren't friends...I mean I had been in Texas for 5 years, (I taught Ethan Lego Soup when he was a baby), but somehow that night things changed. Shelly...I have watched you grow into a godly woman who desires to be what God has called you to be. I have watched you and Matt's marriage grow into a beautiful picture of what God has ordained marriage to be. I can't wait to see how God is going to use your family. I know He will use you in a mighty way! You will always be one of my sisters Shelly....thanks for letting me in! Take care of my heart...I love you Sister!

Susan Cook - my "mom" in Texas. You took me in and made me feel like one of your daughters. Never did I ever question your love for me. I never dreamed when I'd move to Texas that I would find a family just like mine! Thank you from the bottom of my heart for making me feel like I was at home with you and Donnie. Your godly example will always be something that has helped mold me into the woman I am today. I know that you will wear many crowns in heaven! I will never forget you! I love you always!

Tabitha Millikan - I know that I have shared this with you before, but God used you to help me heal after my miscarriage. And for that, we will be eternally connected at the soul. I will never forget what you said, what you did, and how you were there to just hold me and let me cry on your shoulder. You had walked in my shoes...and you knew exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you once again for being a part of one of my spiritual markers. I love you!

Amy Frans - I know that we haven't spent a lot of time together, but I still consider you part of a spiritual marker in my life. You may not know the whole story, but you being pregnant with Molly Jo when I had my miscarriage in 2006 was instrumental in my healing also. The day you announced on CBC moms that you were pregnant with Molly Jo, I had to tell everyone I had miscarried. Those days were some of the hardest days I have ever had to endure. You didn't even know that I was envious of the child you were caring inside your womb. I wanted sooo bad for it to be me! I had wanted to get pregnant so bad that I took things out of God's hands and tried to do them by myself. That summer of 2006, I did a Beth Moore Bible Study with some ladies in my ABF, and through that study, God showed me how envious I had been toward you and that I needed to confess that sin and make it right with you. I remember the day that God told me to go ask your forgiveness during church...at first I was like..."why God? Amy doesn't even know how I have been feeling." But God said to me..."You don't want your bitterness and envy to affect Amy's walk with me." So, with the Lord leading me, I stepped out of my seat and came to you and asked for your forgiveness. And you know what amazed me the most Amy...you didn't even flinch..you didn't look at me with disgust, you didn't look annoyed with me, you lovingly took me in your arms and said that you understood, and you forgave me. It was that simple...your act of forgiveness catapulted me into a season of sweet fellowship with my Lord. And later that summer, God in HIS PERFECT TIMING, allowed me to become pregnant with my beautiful baby boy Silas. I will be forever grateful for your forgiveness Amy! And when I look at Molly Jo, I am always reminded of that Summer of 2006 when God changed my heart and HE changed my life! Thanks Amy! Love you!

Shannon Heriford - my SOUL SISTA!!!! - I don't even know how to start, words aren't even sufficient enough to describe what you mean to me. I have never been around someone who is so much like me and who understands me like you do. It doesn't matter where we are...church, diva nights, picnics...when we see each other..it's immediate screaming, squealing, hugging, laughter...I love you girl! There is NO-ONE like you! Diva night in Georgia will NEVER be the same without my Soul Sista!!! I still remember the night you came into Bible Study...God had done a MARVELOUS, MIRACULOUS thing in your life and Jason's life...and all the ladies in that group were witnesses to the goodness of God...(I'm the new EVE)..., and now...God allowed you to have little Maggie...what a beautiful picture of God's love for HIS children. Please know that I will forever be connected to your soul! I love you Shannon!

There are many, many more ladies...but I will post again Saturday after my Diva night. To all you ladies in my life...your love amazes me! :)

Brown Baby

I was watching a new Disney movie tonight with Timmy - College Road Trip with Martin Lawrence and Raven Symone. It was really funny and a good family movie. The family had a young boy about 7 or 8, and at one point in the movie, he had done something bad and came to his dad (Martin Lawrence) to ask forgiveness. Well, Martin hugged him and said, "It's ok son, I still love you" and the little boy said, "I love you too Daddy".

Well, Timmy looked at me and said, "Awww, I like that mommy. Next time let's get a brown baby".

I said "What?"

He said, "You know like him. Let's get a brown one like him next time".

I just started laughing so hard...

From the mouth of babes....

Hair Cut Day

It was hair cuts for everyone in the Lockwood family today. Everyone got a nice trim, but Silas had his VERY first haircut. Our hairstylist, Jamay, has been cutting our hair for the past 7 years, so it was exciting to see her cut Silas' hair now too.

Silas started out great! He didn't cry or fuss, but when he started putting his hands up towards the scissors and Ed had to hold his hands down, that's when things got a little crazy.

He didn't like her cutting by his ear. He didn't like his head being held down so she could get the back. Many tears were shed, and we even had to take a break to switch parents and let him calm down a bit. But after he calmed down, and mommy held his hands and let him stand up on her lap, Jamay was able to finish.

He looks like such a little boy now. Gone is the look of "baby"...I can't believe how big he is now.

Daddy started out holding him...so far so good.

Looking cute....

No, not behind the ears

Mommy...save me...

THANKS JAMAY!!!!

My Children

I am so blessed by God to have my precious children in my life - Timmy and Silas are TRULY gifts from God. Lately, I have been making a more conscious effort to love on my children unconditionally, and putting them before anything I have on my to do list, etc.

For the past month or so, I have been reading a blog entitled "Bring the Rain" http://audreycaroline.blogspot.com/ I came upon this blog because of 2 UMHB students who had gotten married and found out that their baby boy would not live very long once he was born. Through Brandon and Sarah's blog, I came to learn about Audrey Caroline. Audrey Caroline was the baby girl of Angie & Todd Smith (Todd is the lead singer of Selah). Angie lost Audrey the same way Sarah lost Elliott. Through Sarah and Angie emailing back and forth, Angie became a major component in Sarah's healing from the death of her son. So, I started at the beginning of Angie's blog and caught up to where I read it on a regular basis. I HIGHLY recommend anyone to take the time to read about this precious family's story. Let me forewarn you... you WILL cry, sob, pour out your heart to Jesus for this family, and when you are done, you will love on your children like never before. The first day I read it, my heart was so heavy and burden for this family, that I could do was get on my face before God and cry out to him for their pain, their sorrow, their loss.

I love to read the words that Angie writes...she is transparent with strangers. I have never laid eyes on her, but I feel like I know her soul. Recently, a former singer of Selah, Nicol Sponberg's 2 month old baby boy died from SIDS...not even 6 months from when Audrey Caroline died, and now this precious family is mourning the loss of another precious baby. On Angie's blog posted on June 25th, she has a video of Nicol (holding baby Luke) singing a song at Audrey's burial. I just can't imagine the feeling of not getting to hold my baby anymore, of the emptiness you must feel when your baby is not there to hold.

My prayer is that there NEVER goes a day that I don't make sure I love on my children, spend time with them, and truly thank God for giving me one more day to be their mommy.

May God Bless ALL the mommies in this world...hold on to your children...

A Prayer for My Husband

Dear Most Gracious and Heavenly Father,

With my lips I sing your praise. You have given me more than I deserve. Tonight I want to thank you for my husband. You have given me a man of God who loves you and longs to serve you. He loves me with a love that is indescribable. He makes me feel like the most beautiful woman in the world. You have given me a man who was made to be a father. Thank you for using godly men in Ed's life to show him how to be a better father. Thank you for how you are changing Ed to be the kind of husband you have created him to be. Thank you that my husband is the head of our house, and the spiritual leader of our family. Thank you for helping him to get to this point in his degree plan. I have faith, believing that he will complete this course in August. You deserve all the glory for bringing Ed to this place in his education. As we look at the next chapter of our lives, we anxiously wait to see what you have in store for us. You are so good to me.

In Jesus' name,
Amen.

God's Provision

I am reading through the Old Testament and the New Testament. I am in Joshua chapter 5 in the Old Testament. And I read something tonight that just jumped out at me from the pages of the Bible.

In Joshua 5:12 it says: "The manna stopped the day after they ate this food from the land; there was no longer any manna for the Israelites, but that year they ate of the produce of Canaan."

To preface this verse, the Israelites had been in the desert for 40 years waiting for the Lord to allow them to enter the promised land (Canaan). And while they were in the dessert, God PROVIDED food for them to eat - Manna. They would wake up in the morning and have manna on the ground. And they were just to take enough to eat for that day. If they took more and tried to save it, God caused it to go bad. God is so amazing in His provision of this food. So many times, the Israelites had disobeyed the direct commands of God, and yet God in His Mercy, provided them food to eat.

The fact that "the manna stopped" showed that God had brought them into the land of Canaan, and He was once again, going to provide them the food/produce of the land. No longer did they have to eat manna.

I also see TRUST in this also...the Israelites had to TRUST that God would provide the manna every morning for them to eat. I love to see this picture of utter dependence on God. Without God, the Israelites wouldn't have eaten.

Wow...my God is an amazing, loving, merciful God. May I NEVER stop praising HIM for HIS provision in my life.

My Little Boy Timmy

My Little Boy Timmy turned 5 years old on May 1, 2008. I can't believe how fast these years have flown by! I feel like I have been sleeping through some big events...wasn't he just learning to crawl, and now he is playing t-ball for his very first season. I am so proud of the son that GOD has given to us. Timmy made me a mommy for the very first time, and I can't think of a better word I like to hear than "Mommy".

If you don't know my Timmy, then you may not know that he has the biggest ball of energy of any kid I know.

You may not know how much he loves his Daddy... His daddy is the world to him. No-one can throw a football like daddy..especially mommy. When Ed was in Kenya over Christmas, Timmy told me one night " I need Daddy to come home and play with me. I love Daddy" Anytime he doesn't want us to go to work, he always says, "But I love you!" thinking that will make us stay home.

You may not know that Timmy loves to play games. His newest game is Candy Land. Everytime his "man" jumps my "man" he looks me and says, "It's ok to lose mommy. You'll be ok".

You may not know how many times he will stop what he is doing to give mommy and daddy hugs & kisses.

You may not know how much Timmy enjoys sitting on daddy's lap and watching sports, wrestling, or daddy playing XBOX.

You may not know that Timmy loves his baby brother VERY much! Everytime Timmy comes into Silas' room, Silas just squeals and laughs with delight.

If you don't know my Timmy...you may not know what a joy to my life he is. I am soooo very thankful that God has entrusted me with Timmy. Even though he is a year older...he will always be my very first baby!

Happy Birthday to my precious little boy!

Here are some pictures of Timmy....

Timmy - in October of 2003 (he was only 5 months)

Mommy & Timmy at Chili's after a Cru Ballgame

Timmy in his t-ball uniform before his first game.

An Amazing Weekend

I just wrapped up an amazing weekend with some of the most precious girls. The Lord placed these girls in my life at UMHB and I can honestly say, even though they are about 10 years younger than I am, I still have such an awesome friendship with them.

2 of them are married, and 1 of them is "almost engaged" actually there is 1 of us who is too far away to enjoy reunions (Love you Jo). I have known these girls for almost 5 years...I have walked through many trials and triumphs in their life. I have watched them grow into GODLY women, and feel so honored to be in their life. As I was driving home today, I started reminiscing about the countless memories that we have made, and are still making. Even though we have only been able to get together about once a year, when we do get together, it's like we just saw each other last week. We catch up on old times, and talk about what the Lord is doing in their lives.

Girls...I am soooo proud of each and everyone of you! I can't wait to see what the Lord does in your life (families) in the years to come. Don't ever forget how much I love each one of you, and know that I am ALWAYS here for you!

Until next time......

My First Blog

I have been wanting to do this for a while now, and finally decided to sit down and do it. I always seems to have so much going on in my mind, I decided to put it down in this blog.

You know when you have to tell a lot of people the same thing, and you get tired of repeating yourself, and you leave details out to each person...well, here I can type it one time and then send it to everyone to read it. That way, I won't leave out any details between people and everyone can see what is going on in my life.

On this Wednesday (hump day), I am truly blessed to have ED alive and well and with us in Texas. Some of you may know, and others may not, but Ed was in Kenya over Christmas (Dec. 19th through Jan. 5th) with an organization called International Sports Federation (ISF). They went over to an orphanage and gave Christmas to the children over there. There is ALOT to the story, and once Ed writes it out, I will post it here. But while ISF was in Kenya, the elections were taking place...the "wrong" person won...and riots broke out everywhere. Ed was in Kisumu at the airport, dropping off a team member who had to return to America for work. On the way back to the town they were working in, they got stopped at a roadblock and were attacked. Neither Ed, Hezzie (his Kenyan friend) or the drivers were hurt, but God used that event to catapult me into trusting HIM for everything. Ed and I have been saying for the past 4 months, "we trust God with our life" and HE made it clearly apparent during this time. I didn't hear the entire story until Ed arrived back in Texas on Jan. 5th. But while Ed and I were apart, I placed Ed in the Lord's hands and I trusted God to bring him home to us. After Ed called on New Years Eve, and I found out that things were not the safest to get out of the country, I didn't know whether or not Ed would get out safely or not. I sat down with my mother on Wednesday night of that week and said, "Mom, if the Lord doesn't bring Ed home...I will be ok...the boys and I will be ok." It wasn't until I TOTALLY gave Ed to the Lord that I started getting peace. He gave me a peace that passes all understanding. I knew that Ed would be coming home. And I have the Lord to thank for that!

I know this was a long post, and maybe it is even hard to follow...but it's my first time...and it will just get better with time.