Thursday, October 29, 2009

To My Baby Boy Silas

It's been almost 2 weeks since I had my hands on my baby boy Silas. He moved to NC on October 18th, and I'm really starting to miss him. I got to see his cute little face the other night through Skype/webcam and it was SO good to see him. He was precious...he kept saying "Mommy" and was the first time he has ever seen how a webcam works. I am hoping to be able to "see" him again soon.

With us being separated for 4 weeks, I am so hoping and praying that Silas somehow understands how much I love him. Being two years old, I am not sure how much he understands about our most recent "move". He is living with Nana and Papa, and Daddy and "Mimmy" are there now, so I know he is in the BEST hands, but I still wonder if he ever thinks, "Where's Mommy?" I do miss Ed and Timmy, but they both can talk to me and I am able to explain to Timmy how many "wake-ups" there are until I am joining them in NC, but Silas doesn't understand. I don't think Silas even really understands that Emma is just 12 weeks away from making an appearance. I can't WAIT to get to NC so that I can spend every moment with Silas...I long for the days when I can get up with him in the morning and NOT have to leave for work. I wanted to write a letter to Silas today, so that when he is older, and he ever feels "left out", I can share this with him. So here goes....

To my dear, precious baby boy...

Silas, you are only two years old right now, and due to circumstances beyond our control, I am separated from you for a little while. I don't think you understand what is really have Nana taking care of you everyday...and next to Mommy and Daddy...Nana is the next best thing.

Since you moved to NC, you have really started using more words. You will actually get on the phone with me and say, "Hey Mommy" "I Love you". I LOVE to hear your little voice on the other end of the phone. I can just picture you walking around Nana and Papa's house with your little arms swinging by your side. You love to run around and play and I hear from Nana, that you have started finding pens, pencils, anything to write with and marking on the walls. Nana has had to watch you like a hawk. You are very active and don't really care to watch TV much, although you will sit down and watch Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. Nana has started letting you feed yourself yogurt...she says you do a good job, but do NOT like anything on your face, so Nana sits there and wipes off your little face when yogurt spills out of your mouth. I can't wait to get to NC and witness all the things you are doing.

Baby boy...when Mommy gets to NC, I am not going to have to leave you everyday to go to work. I get to stay home and take care of you. I have so many ideas of how I want to spend my time with you. You love mommy to read books to you, so I am looking forward to reading the same book over and over and over again, because when I finish reading the book, you quickly say, "Gin". You can listen to the same book 10 times or more and still want it again. I am looking forward to working on more words with you and teaching you your numbers. I can't wait to pray with you each night before you go to bed...I had just started that as part of our bedtime routine when you moved. I love to hear you repeat the prayer that I am saying. I can't wait to snuggle with you and cuddle with you while you suck your middle fingers and play with your hair. I can't wait to give you baths and listen to you scream (like a girl) when you splash me. I can't wait to go into your room and watch you sleeping and pray over you.

I am so excited about spending quality time with you and making sure you understand how important you are to me and the rest of our family. See, I am not sure you understand it, but your baby sister is on the way. This is going to make you a middle child, and speaking from experience, I want you to know that you are a VERY important part of our family. You will always be my baby boy. Mommy may have to share her time between you and baby Emma, but you will ALWAYS be just as important as her. I so want you to understand the love that I have for you sweet Silas. As your mommy, I am going to try really hard to make sure you don't feel left out once Emma makes her appearance. I want you to know mommy's heart is big enough to love you, Timmy and Emma. I will do everything I can to make sure you feel safe and secure and loved. I really think you are going to be a great big brother to Emma. I can't wait to watch you, Timmy and Emma playing together. My 3 precious children, gifts from God above.

Please don't ever forget that I love you with all my heart! You are my sweet treasure dear Silas!

Love Always,
Your Mommy

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Seasons of Change - REVEALED's now safe to reveal the Lockwood's seasons of change...

We are moving to North Carolina!

(Actually, Ed and the boys moved this past weekend.)

Ed and I have felt for a while that a change needed to take place for our family. We moved to GA in September of 2008, and it seemed like we were hit with valleys and mountain tops and then more valleys. It became clear after a year of Ed not being able to find work, that we need to pursue other locations. My family lives in Winston-Salem, NC, so Ed decided to pursue job opportunities in the area. We prayed and asked the Lord to guide our footsteps, to open doors and close doors and to show us where HE wanted us to be.

My little sister and brother-in-law moved to NC in September of 2008 from Germany, and in January of 2009, my BIL got a job at Market America in GSO. So, Ed looked and discovered there were some openings for customer service representatives at Market America. He sent his resume on a Tuesday, received a call on Thursday to set up an interview for the next Monday in NC. The interview went well, and they told us we should hear something in about 2 to 3 weeks. Well, let me just tell you, the waiting was the hardest part. But I remember my little sister telling me about a song that really helped her get through the waiting when Leo was looking for a job. It's by John Waller, it's called "While I'm Waiting" And it never failed...EVERYDAY when I was driving to or from work, that song would come on the radio, and it just reminded me to "wait on the Lord". We knew that if GOD wanted us in NC, then HE would open the doors.

So...we waited, 1 week turned to 2, and 2 weeks turned to 2 1/2...and then it happened...we got a phone call from Market America for Ed to have a final interview with the COO of the company. We were so excited, yet cautious and prayerful that God would continue to lead. In the meantime, we had decided that our best option was to move to NC when our lease was up in November, in the hopes that Ed would be able to find a job in NC by that time. We had decided the move date would be October 24th, because that would have given us two weeks to finalize things in GA, and it would be the end of 1 quarter for Timmy, and he could start the new quarter in his NC school. I was going to stay behind in GA and continue working at Life University until Ed found a job with the hopes that I would be able to come to NC by the 13th of November and not have to return to GA. When Ed got the call about the final interview, we decided it would be best for Silas to go ahead and move to NC and stay with my parents so that we could use that week to pack, clean, etc. Timmy would stay in NC and attend his school for one more week. So, Ed had the interview...he felt it went well, and they told him "you should hear back from us very soon".

We are left with waiting again....we had already placed this journey in the Lord's hands, so we knew that if HE wanted Ed at Market America...that it would all workout. Ed and Timmy moved to NC on Saturday, October 24th, and I moved in with some friends. We knew being separated was going to be hard on us, but we felt that it was important for me to continue at Life until Ed was receiving some income. We also had to think about our health insurance since Emma will be here in just 12 weeks...the longer I stay at Life, the less "Cobra" insurance we have to pay., October 27th, Ed received a job offer from Market America!!! When Ed called to tell me, I asked him if he was kidding with me. I couldn't believe we had our answer. God was providing a job for Ed in NC...near my family...before Emma was was perfect timing.

The thought of being near my family when Emma is born brings tears to my eyes. The thought of me being able to be HOME WITH SILAS for 9 weeks before Emma comes, and help him with the transition of bringing home his little sister makes my heart flutter. But most of all...the thought of getting to spend SO much NEEDED time with my family leaves me speechless. NEVER in my WILDEST dreams would I have EVER pictured myself living back in NC with my TRULY is a DREAM COME TRUE!


Monday, October 26, 2009

Happy Birthday To MY ONE AND ONLY LOVE

Today is a wonderful day in the Lockwood household, because we are celebrating the WONDERFUL birthday of the leader of our hubby, Ed! I can't believe another birthday is upon us already. It seems like just yesterday we were celebrating Ed's first birthday away from Texas, and now here is birthday #2. I really wish he was able to spend his birthday with his Texas friends and family because he misses them SO much...but maybe Birthday 2010 can be spent in Texas - only the Lord knows.

I am hoping and praying that my man has a fabulous birthday and knows how much he means to me and the boys. Ed is the rock of our family! He is the man God made for me. God knew that I needed Ed to be my husband. Ed and I have walked through many trials and triumphs, and I wouldn't have wanted anyone else by my side. He is an AMAZING father to his little boys, and I CAN NOT WAIT to see him get to be "Daddy" to our baby girl Emma. I love that my husband is strong and protective, but can also show his sensitive side that I LOVE so much! I love how much he loves his family and friends, and am honored to be called his wife.

Happy 35th Birthday baby! Here's to 35 more!

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

My Boys at Work

Recently I have had to bring the boys to work on two separate occasions. Silas had to be dropped off a couple of weeks ago when our child care provider's son got sick at the last minute, and Ed had an appointment. Silas really liked Mommy's office...especially playing with the paperclips in Mommy's desk. It's been about a month and I am still finding paperclips in odd places in my desk drawer.

This week, Ed had to be out of town on Monday and Tuesday, so I picked Timmy up from school and brought him to the office for a couple of hours. The first day he did his homework and was really excited to be at my office.

The second day, he did his homework, but after that he was bored. So, I looked down at my "To Shred" pile and decided to let Timmy shred the pile for me. You would have thought I had just given him candy to eat. He was so excited! I had quite a bit of paper to shred, and we filled up one bag and started on another one. A little while later, he comes to my desk and says, "When I get older, I am going to get a job as a shredder, because I am really good at it." I just laughed and said Ok honey... When the pile was finished, he wanted more, so I took the time to clean out my desk and found more for him. He was so excited...See...
I liked having the boys at the office and being able to let them meet my co-workers. It was nice for the boys to be able to see where mommy works. If your company has "Bring your son or daughter to work day"...I HIGHLY recommend you partaking in the event. It was ALOT of fun for me to make memories with the boys!

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Emma's 1st Shower

On Thursday, October 8th, my friend in Acworth, Sloan, threw a GA shower for me. It was the first shower I have had for Emma. I couldn't believe how precious all the decorations were and the PINK!!!!! It was SO fun to open gifts with pink and purple and BLUE! It hit me when I was opening up my gifts that "Wow! I am REALLY having a girl!" I had never had a baby girl shower, only baby boy showers, so opening up the girlie stuff was such a special treat. Here are some pics that my friend Keri took for me. Enjoy!!!!

The Table Spread of all of my favorite desserts!

The "E" hairbow holder that Sloan made for Emma's bows.

The boys helping me open a gift from Jenn and Gracyn.
It's the bumper for Emma's crib!

A precious purple gown, hat and blanket

I love this adorable sleeper. Emma will have lots of wear
out of her sleepers since she is due in January.

My friend Keri made me this adorable diaper cake.
It's so cute, I don't want to take it apart.
I will just have to wait until Emma needs size 1 diapers.

My last shower will be a family shower in North Carolina on November 14th. I am looking forward to this shower most of all, because for the first time, my little sister will actually be able to come to my baby shower...AND she is even getting to host it for me at her house. I am truly blessed!

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

My Precious Boys

I haven't posted in about two weeks, and I'm still not quite ready to share about our season of change, but I wanted to post about my boys.

Timmy has been growing up so much. Helping with Silas, laying hands on my belly and talking to Emma, being such a loving little boy. He's at the age where he is understanding more and more about how important God is in our life. We pray with him before bed and on the way to school, and we have been reading a Bible story book at night as part of our night time routine. Somehow we have lost the book, so Ed and I have just been telling him Bible stories from memory. I talked about Shadrach, Meschach and Abendnego and the next night Ed told him about Daniel and the Lions Den. He loves it when we tell him the stories and always reminds us at bedtime that he needs a story. Well, last night I decided to start reading the Bible to him. I started in Luke 1 with the story of Zechariah and Elisabeth. He thought it was really cool that "my name" was in the Bible like "his name" is in the Bible. I love his heart for the Bible, and how much he enjoys reading it. So, later that night, I heard his bathroom door open and I go to check on him. He was sitting on the toilet, reading his Bible. It was like the Bible was his "toilet reading" so to speak. When he first started to read, he read Psalms 23, so he enjoys reading that Psalm over and over again. I am hoping that Ed and I are able to be the parents that we need to be and raise Timmy the way God wants us to. I hope that Timmy comes to know Christ as HIS personal Savior and grows up to love God with all his heart, soul and mind.

Silas has officially moved out of the crib. I felt like it was time to move the twin bed into his room since he seemed to be getting too big for the crib. Unfortunately for Ed, it hasn't turned out to be the best timing.... Saturday was the first day he was to sleep in his big boy nap time, he REFUSED to stay in the bed. He kept crying and coming out of the bedroom, so I kept putting him back in the bed and telling him "night night" and that routine happened about 3 to 4 times. After that, he was getting the snubs, so I decided I would lay down on the floor next to his bed, wait til he fell asleep and then crawl out. It worked for about 45 minutes and then he woke up/sat up and saw that I wasn't there and out the door he came. I decided, naptime was over and we went about our day. Ed came home from work that evening and I shared with him about our "big boy bed" fiasco. So, Ed said he would give it a try. Wouldn't you know that the boy went right to sleep with no tears or coming out of his bed!!!! I couldn't believe it...Ed was beaming with pride that "Daddy can take care of business." Well, fast forward to Monday...when Silas was in the crib, he wouldn't cry out for Ed until after 9:00 most that he can get out of walks Silas to our bedroom around 8:00....needless to say, Ed wasn't quite ready for this to happen. If you know my hubby, you know that he is a night owl and NOT a morning person. So, 8:00 was a little early for him..but he managed. We thought Silas might be sick or not feeling well, so Ed took him into the doctor, and sure enough...ear infection in his left ear. All day Silas was VERY clingy, wanting to be held, and never wanting to be put down. He didn't nap on Monday, so when I put him to bed around 7:30...he went to bed with no crying or fussing and went to sleep pretty quickly. Well, this morning at 6:00...I hear Silas was actually at 5:58 because my alarm is set for 6:00 and I knew my alarm hadn't went off yet...I waited to see if he would just cry himself back to sleep, but a few minutes later...I hear his door open and out he walks crying for "Da Dee", I try to keep him quiet so that Ed can sleep while I am getting ready for work, but Silas will have none of this...he cries even harder for "Da Dee" and goes straight into our bedroom and snuggles up next to Ed. I leave Silas in there thinking that maybe he will fall back to sleep, but about 5 minutes later, out walks Ed with Silas. I felt soooo bad that Silas was up so early. See, Ed works in the evenings, and doesn't get home until after midnight/1am so Ed hadn't had much sleep. I told Ed I still had an hour before I needed to leave for work, that I would keep Silas and he could go back to bed. Before I left, I put the pack n play up in Silas' room so that Ed could lay him back down and Silas would sleep and not be able to get out. I don't think that the timing of moving Silas into a big boy bed was very good...but it's too late to turn back now. Silas is usually an excellent sleeper, I think he is not sleeping well because he doesn't feel good. I am REALLY hoping that he will take his naps today....I know his little body needs the rest.

I am so thankful for my boys and for how much fun they are watching them grow up. I can't WAIT for Emma to get here so that I can see my boys with their baby sister! I am a little worried about Silas, but we talk about babies and Emma all the time...I am just not sure he has put two and two together. I only have 13 weeks left....time will tell.