SISTERS

As my time in GA quickly draws to a close, I have had a lot of time to reflect on my future endeavors in North Carolina. There are SO many things that I am looking forward to, and I shared some of them in my last post, however, I wanted to share about some more.

I CAN NOT WAIT TO SPEND SOME QUALITY TIME WITH MY SISTERS!

Tina, Nikki, and I have been SO close almost our entire life. When I talk about my family and childhood, I really have more good memories than bad when it comes to my sisters. There are so many inside jokes and memories that can just keep us laughing for hours. There is just a bond between us that NO-ONE will EVER be able to break.

In January of this past year, I kinda got a little jealous of Tina and Nikki. The opportunity was given to Nikki to be Tina's assistant in her K-3 class at school. I was like, "WHAT?!?! Nikki gets to see Tina EVERYDAY AND WORK with her!" I SOOOO wanted to be there and enjoy in making memories. I just KNEW it was going to bring them closer together. I think my jealousy was more of not wanting to be left out, but you know what...when I came home in March, it was just as it has always been. Tina and Nikki treated me as if I had been at work with them all along. They included me in all their discussions, and was eager to share with me about the kiddos in their class.

My sisters have been there for me from the VERY beginning of our time away from each other. When Nikki got married and moved to Germany, and I when I got married and moved to Texas....I NEVER dreamed that one day we would be ALL back together again. Do you realize what this means???? Sister (and mom) Movie Nights, Dessert Nights (not just on New Years Eve), SHOPPING, SHOPPING, SHOPPING, late night talks and slumber parties (yes, even married with children you can still have a slumber party), Ladies Retreats in the mountains, workout accountability partners, Bible study partners, and so much more...

As I sit here and type this post, tears are coming to my eyes when I realize that I get to see my sisters face to face EVERYDAY! I haven't had that in over NINE years! No more just weekend visits or holiday visits. I am going to be LIVING in NC! I thank God EVERYDAY that HE is allowing us to all be together again!

Dreams REALLY do come true! Hold on sisters....I will be there soon! I love you both so very much! Oh, the memories we will make....

To My Baby Boy Silas

It's been almost 2 weeks since I had my hands on my baby boy Silas. He moved to NC on October 18th, and I'm really starting to miss him. I got to see his cute little face the other night through Skype/webcam and it was SO good to see him. He was precious...he kept saying "Mommy" and laughing...it was the first time he has ever seen how a webcam works. I am hoping to be able to "see" him again soon.

With us being separated for 4 weeks, I am so hoping and praying that Silas somehow understands how much I love him. Being two years old, I am not sure how much he understands about our most recent "move". He is living with Nana and Papa, and Daddy and "Mimmy" are there now, so I know he is in the BEST hands, but I still wonder if he ever thinks, "Where's Mommy?" I do miss Ed and Timmy, but they both can talk to me and I am able to explain to Timmy how many "wake-ups" there are until I am joining them in NC, but Silas doesn't understand. I don't think Silas even really understands that Emma is just 12 weeks away from making an appearance. I can't WAIT to get to NC so that I can spend every moment with Silas...I long for the days when I can get up with him in the morning and NOT have to leave for work. I wanted to write a letter to Silas today, so that when he is older, and he ever feels "left out", I can share this with him. So here goes....

To my dear, precious baby boy...

Silas, you are only two years old right now, and due to circumstances beyond our control, I am separated from you for a little while. I don't think you understand what is really happening...you have Nana taking care of you everyday...and next to Mommy and Daddy...Nana is the next best thing.

Since you moved to NC, you have really started using more words. You will actually get on the phone with me and say, "Hey Mommy" "I Love you". I LOVE to hear your little voice on the other end of the phone. I can just picture you walking around Nana and Papa's house with your little arms swinging by your side. You love to run around and play and I hear from Nana, that you have started finding pens, pencils, anything to write with and marking on the walls. Nana has had to watch you like a hawk. You are very active and don't really care to watch TV much, although you will sit down and watch Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. Nana has started letting you feed yourself yogurt...she says you do a good job, but do NOT like anything on your face, so Nana sits there and wipes off your little face when yogurt spills out of your mouth. I can't wait to get to NC and witness all the things you are doing.

Baby boy...when Mommy gets to NC, I am not going to have to leave you everyday to go to work. I get to stay home and take care of you. I have so many ideas of how I want to spend my time with you. You love mommy to read books to you, so I am looking forward to reading the same book over and over and over again, because when I finish reading the book, you quickly say, "Gin". You can listen to the same book 10 times or more and still want it again. I am looking forward to working on more words with you and teaching you your numbers. I can't wait to pray with you each night before you go to bed...I had just started that as part of our bedtime routine when you moved. I love to hear you repeat the prayer that I am saying. I can't wait to snuggle with you and cuddle with you while you suck your middle fingers and play with your hair. I can't wait to give you baths and listen to you scream (like a girl) when you splash me. I can't wait to go into your room and watch you sleeping and pray over you.

I am so excited about spending quality time with you and making sure you understand how important you are to me and the rest of our family. See, I am not sure you understand it, but your baby sister is on the way. This is going to make you a middle child, and speaking from experience, I want you to know that you are a VERY important part of our family. You will always be my baby boy. Mommy may have to share her time between you and baby Emma, but you will ALWAYS be just as important as her. I so want you to understand the love that I have for you sweet Silas. As your mommy, I am going to try really hard to make sure you don't feel left out once Emma makes her appearance. I want you to know mommy's heart is big enough to love you, Timmy and Emma. I will do everything I can to make sure you feel safe and secure and loved. I really think you are going to be a great big brother to Emma. I can't wait to watch you, Timmy and Emma playing together. My 3 precious children, gifts from God above.

Please don't ever forget that I love you with all my heart! You are my sweet treasure dear Silas!

Love Always,
Your Mommy

Seasons of Change - REVEALED

Well...it's now safe to reveal the Lockwood's seasons of change...

We are moving to North Carolina!

(Actually, Ed and the boys moved this past weekend.)

Ed and I have felt for a while that a change needed to take place for our family. We moved to GA in September of 2008, and it seemed like we were hit with valleys and mountain tops and then more valleys. It became clear after a year of Ed not being able to find work, that we need to pursue other locations. My family lives in Winston-Salem, NC, so Ed decided to pursue job opportunities in the area. We prayed and asked the Lord to guide our footsteps, to open doors and close doors and to show us where HE wanted us to be.

My little sister and brother-in-law moved to NC in September of 2008 from Germany, and in January of 2009, my BIL got a job at Market America in GSO. So, Ed looked and discovered there were some openings for customer service representatives at Market America. He sent his resume on a Tuesday, received a call on Thursday to set up an interview for the next Monday in NC. The interview went well, and they told us we should hear something in about 2 to 3 weeks. Well, let me just tell you, the waiting was the hardest part. But I remember my little sister telling me about a song that really helped her get through the waiting when Leo was looking for a job. It's by John Waller, it's called "While I'm Waiting" And it never failed...EVERYDAY when I was driving to or from work, that song would come on the radio, and it just reminded me to "wait on the Lord". We knew that if GOD wanted us in NC, then HE would open the doors.

So...we waited, 1 week turned to 2, and 2 weeks turned to 2 1/2...and then it happened...we got a phone call from Market America for Ed to have a final interview with the COO of the company. We were so excited, yet cautious and prayerful that God would continue to lead. In the meantime, we had decided that our best option was to move to NC when our lease was up in November, in the hopes that Ed would be able to find a job in NC by that time. We had decided the move date would be October 24th, because that would have given us two weeks to finalize things in GA, and it would be the end of 1 quarter for Timmy, and he could start the new quarter in his NC school. I was going to stay behind in GA and continue working at Life University until Ed found a job with the hopes that I would be able to come to NC by the 13th of November and not have to return to GA. When Ed got the call about the final interview, we decided it would be best for Silas to go ahead and move to NC and stay with my parents so that we could use that week to pack, clean, etc. Timmy would stay in NC and attend his school for one more week. So, Ed had the interview...he felt it went well, and they told him "you should hear back from us very soon".

We are left with waiting again....we had already placed this journey in the Lord's hands, so we knew that if HE wanted Ed at Market America...that it would all workout. Ed and Timmy moved to NC on Saturday, October 24th, and I moved in with some friends. We knew being separated was going to be hard on us, but we felt that it was important for me to continue at Life until Ed was receiving some income. We also had to think about our health insurance since Emma will be here in just 12 weeks...the longer I stay at Life, the less "Cobra" insurance we have to pay.

Well....today, October 27th, Ed received a job offer from Market America!!! When Ed called to tell me, I asked him if he was kidding with me. I couldn't believe we had our answer. God was providing a job for Ed in NC...near my family...before Emma was born...it was perfect timing.

The thought of being near my family when Emma is born brings tears to my eyes. The thought of me being able to be HOME WITH SILAS for 9 weeks before Emma comes, and help him with the transition of bringing home his little sister makes my heart flutter. But most of all...the thought of getting to spend SO much NEEDED time with my family leaves me speechless. NEVER in my WILDEST dreams would I have EVER pictured myself living back in NC with my family...it TRULY is a DREAM COME TRUE!

GOD IS GOOD ALL THE TIME...ALL THE TIME GOD IS GOOD

Happy Birthday To MY ONE AND ONLY LOVE

Today is a wonderful day in the Lockwood household, because we are celebrating the WONDERFUL birthday of the leader of our home...my hubby, Ed! I can't believe another birthday is upon us already. It seems like just yesterday we were celebrating Ed's first birthday away from Texas, and now here is birthday #2. I really wish he was able to spend his birthday with his Texas friends and family because he misses them SO much...but maybe Birthday 2010 can be spent in Texas - only the Lord knows.


I am hoping and praying that my man has a fabulous birthday and knows how much he means to me and the boys. Ed is the rock of our family! He is the man God made for me. God knew that I needed Ed to be my husband. Ed and I have walked through many trials and triumphs, and I wouldn't have wanted anyone else by my side. He is an AMAZING father to his little boys, and I CAN NOT WAIT to see him get to be "Daddy" to our baby girl Emma. I love that my husband is strong and protective, but can also show his sensitive side that I LOVE so much! I love how much he loves his family and friends, and am honored to be called his wife.

Happy 35th Birthday baby! Here's to 35 more!