A Night To Remember

I write in anticipation for Friday night - my last Diva night with the ladies at my church. Those ladies that I like to call my family! We have had MANY Diva nights full of memories...and I know that this one will be the best one ever! I have been sitting here reading some blogs that I regularly read, and I started getting emotional thinking about the ladies that God has placed in my life. Each one of these ladies that will be joining me tomorrow night has made a mark on my life. A mark that will NEVER go away. Some are spiritual markers, others are friendship markers. These are ladies that I will TRULY miss with all that is within me when I move to Atlanta. I know that as mothers, we don't always get a chance to share what each of us means to each other...time is never our friend. The kids usually take up a lot of our time. (Thank God for ALL the children represented in this group of ladies!!!!) But I just want to share a little bit about some of the ladies that will keep a piece of my heart in Texas.

Bethany Waters - wife of my husband's best friend. I know we don't get to spend as much time together as we would like. But you have encouraged me so much spiritually over all these years...especially recently! I am amazed at the work that God is doing in your life. 8 years is a long time, and we have been through a lot together, we have SO many memories --- I will never forget that night that you were pregnant with Faith and I was pregnant with Timmy, and we went to the convenient store up the road because we were craving ice cream...Tim and Ed just laughed at us...but it's a memory in my book that I will never forget. Speaking of Faith...I remember when you and Tim were trying for so long to get pregnant after Hannah, and it seemed like all around us the Lord was blessing everyone with a child...everyone but you...I remember how hard it was on you...you never spoke it out loud, but I could tell...oh how I prayed that God would give you another child...and when you called me on that June day and told me you were pregnant...what an answer to prayer!!!! I still remember where I was when I got your call...and then, I called Ed...and these were his words to me, "Now, you and I can get pregnant. I didn't want us to get pregnant until Bethany did." And in God's beautiful timing, HE allowed us to be pregnant at the same time. That was so fun to do together! I will NEVER forget you Bethany...even though I'll be so far away...you will always have a piece of my heart! I love you Sister!

Shelly Cook - girl...where do I begin?!?!? I know I have told you before, but I feel a connection to your soul that I can't describe. I was reading through my journal tonight and I found an entry on March 6, 2005 that states, "Lord, at Home Group tonight, I felt you leading me to draw Shelly out and encourage her." I still remember that night as if it was yesterday. It wasn't like we weren't friends...I mean I had been in Texas for 5 years, (I taught Ethan Lego Soup when he was a baby), but somehow that night things changed. Shelly...I have watched you grow into a godly woman who desires to be what God has called you to be. I have watched you and Matt's marriage grow into a beautiful picture of what God has ordained marriage to be. I can't wait to see how God is going to use your family. I know He will use you in a mighty way! You will always be one of my sisters Shelly....thanks for letting me in! Take care of my heart...I love you Sister!

Susan Cook - my "mom" in Texas. You took me in and made me feel like one of your daughters. Never did I ever question your love for me. I never dreamed when I'd move to Texas that I would find a family just like mine! Thank you from the bottom of my heart for making me feel like I was at home with you and Donnie. Your godly example will always be something that has helped mold me into the woman I am today. I know that you will wear many crowns in heaven! I will never forget you! I love you always!

Tabitha Millikan - I know that I have shared this with you before, but God used you to help me heal after my miscarriage. And for that, we will be eternally connected at the soul. I will never forget what you said, what you did, and how you were there to just hold me and let me cry on your shoulder. You had walked in my shoes...and you knew exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you once again for being a part of one of my spiritual markers. I love you!

Amy Frans - I know that we haven't spent a lot of time together, but I still consider you part of a spiritual marker in my life. You may not know the whole story, but you being pregnant with Molly Jo when I had my miscarriage in 2006 was instrumental in my healing also. The day you announced on CBC moms that you were pregnant with Molly Jo, I had to tell everyone I had miscarried. Those days were some of the hardest days I have ever had to endure. You didn't even know that I was envious of the child you were caring inside your womb. I wanted sooo bad for it to be me! I had wanted to get pregnant so bad that I took things out of God's hands and tried to do them by myself. That summer of 2006, I did a Beth Moore Bible Study with some ladies in my ABF, and through that study, God showed me how envious I had been toward you and that I needed to confess that sin and make it right with you. I remember the day that God told me to go ask your forgiveness during church...at first I was like..."why God? Amy doesn't even know how I have been feeling." But God said to me..."You don't want your bitterness and envy to affect Amy's walk with me." So, with the Lord leading me, I stepped out of my seat and came to you and asked for your forgiveness. And you know what amazed me the most Amy...you didn't even flinch..you didn't look at me with disgust, you didn't look annoyed with me, you lovingly took me in your arms and said that you understood, and you forgave me. It was that simple...your act of forgiveness catapulted me into a season of sweet fellowship with my Lord. And later that summer, God in HIS PERFECT TIMING, allowed me to become pregnant with my beautiful baby boy Silas. I will be forever grateful for your forgiveness Amy! And when I look at Molly Jo, I am always reminded of that Summer of 2006 when God changed my heart and HE changed my life! Thanks Amy! Love you!

Shannon Heriford - my SOUL SISTA!!!! - I don't even know how to start, words aren't even sufficient enough to describe what you mean to me. I have never been around someone who is so much like me and who understands me like you do. It doesn't matter where we are...church, diva nights, picnics...when we see each other..it's immediate screaming, squealing, hugging, laughter...I love you girl! There is NO-ONE like you! Diva night in Georgia will NEVER be the same without my Soul Sista!!! I still remember the night you came into Bible Study...God had done a MARVELOUS, MIRACULOUS thing in your life and Jason's life...and all the ladies in that group were witnesses to the goodness of God...(I'm the new EVE)..., and now...God allowed you to have little Maggie...what a beautiful picture of God's love for HIS children. Please know that I will forever be connected to your soul! I love you Shannon!

There are many, many more ladies...but I will post again Saturday after my Diva night. To all you ladies in my life...your love amazes me! :)

Brown Baby

I was watching a new Disney movie tonight with Timmy - College Road Trip with Martin Lawrence and Raven Symone. It was really funny and a good family movie. The family had a young boy about 7 or 8, and at one point in the movie, he had done something bad and came to his dad (Martin Lawrence) to ask forgiveness. Well, Martin hugged him and said, "It's ok son, I still love you" and the little boy said, "I love you too Daddy".

Well, Timmy looked at me and said, "Awww, I like that mommy. Next time let's get a brown baby".

I said "What?"

He said, "You know like him. Let's get a brown one like him next time".

I just started laughing so hard...

From the mouth of babes....

Hair Cut Day

It was hair cuts for everyone in the Lockwood family today. Everyone got a nice trim, but Silas had his VERY first haircut. Our hairstylist, Jamay, has been cutting our hair for the past 7 years, so it was exciting to see her cut Silas' hair now too.

Silas started out great! He didn't cry or fuss, but when he started putting his hands up towards the scissors and Ed had to hold his hands down, that's when things got a little crazy.

He didn't like her cutting by his ear. He didn't like his head being held down so she could get the back. Many tears were shed, and we even had to take a break to switch parents and let him calm down a bit. But after he calmed down, and mommy held his hands and let him stand up on her lap, Jamay was able to finish.

He looks like such a little boy now. Gone is the look of "baby"...I can't believe how big he is now.

Daddy started out holding him...so far so good.

Looking cute....

No, not behind the ears

Mommy...save me...

THANKS JAMAY!!!!

My Children

I am so blessed by God to have my precious children in my life - Timmy and Silas are TRULY gifts from God. Lately, I have been making a more conscious effort to love on my children unconditionally, and putting them before anything I have on my to do list, etc.

For the past month or so, I have been reading a blog entitled "Bring the Rain" http://audreycaroline.blogspot.com/ I came upon this blog because of 2 UMHB students who had gotten married and found out that their baby boy would not live very long once he was born. Through Brandon and Sarah's blog, I came to learn about Audrey Caroline. Audrey Caroline was the baby girl of Angie & Todd Smith (Todd is the lead singer of Selah). Angie lost Audrey the same way Sarah lost Elliott. Through Sarah and Angie emailing back and forth, Angie became a major component in Sarah's healing from the death of her son. So, I started at the beginning of Angie's blog and caught up to where I read it on a regular basis. I HIGHLY recommend anyone to take the time to read about this precious family's story. Let me forewarn you... you WILL cry, sob, pour out your heart to Jesus for this family, and when you are done, you will love on your children like never before. The first day I read it, my heart was so heavy and burden for this family, that I could do was get on my face before God and cry out to him for their pain, their sorrow, their loss.

I love to read the words that Angie writes...she is transparent with strangers. I have never laid eyes on her, but I feel like I know her soul. Recently, a former singer of Selah, Nicol Sponberg's 2 month old baby boy died from SIDS...not even 6 months from when Audrey Caroline died, and now this precious family is mourning the loss of another precious baby. On Angie's blog posted on June 25th, she has a video of Nicol (holding baby Luke) singing a song at Audrey's burial. I just can't imagine the feeling of not getting to hold my baby anymore, of the emptiness you must feel when your baby is not there to hold.

My prayer is that there NEVER goes a day that I don't make sure I love on my children, spend time with them, and truly thank God for giving me one more day to be their mommy.

May God Bless ALL the mommies in this world...hold on to your children...