Tuesday, November 18, 2008

When It Rains

Yesterday felt like 4 days long, but it was only 24 hours. Here's the rundown of my day...

Ed wakes me up at 5:10am and tells me Timmy is throwing up and he doesn't have his contacts in so he can't see if it's blood. My first thought is..."Oh no, it's the color of blood" - I then go into the bathroom to see my precious baby boy standing over the toilet throwing up non-stop. I go over and start rubbing his back and look to see if it's blood. It's not, it's the remnants of supper the night before, pancakes and syrup. He finishes and asks for some water, then goes back to bed. I normally get up for work at 5:30am, so I decided to stay up and start getting ready. Well, as I was getting ready, he throws up again, and again. We decided to put him in the bed with Ed so he doesn't have to go so far to get to the bathroom.

Around 6:45, I leave for work. Where we are living right now in Newnan is about 45 miles to work. I don't have to be there untili 8am, but with Atlanta traffic, it sometimes takes me over an hour. I head out on 85North and about 15 miles into the trip, my car makes this sound like it dropped something on the highway, and then won't go when I push the gas. By God's grace, I was right next to an exit, so I merge onto the exit ramp, and have to stop at the traffic light because of traffic. Well, as soon as I stop moving, the car won't move again. So, here I am on the exit ramp, with 15 or so cars behind me, and I can't get the car to move. I knew that we had roadside assistance with our Sprint Cell Phone plan, but I wasn't sure how to use it, so I needed to call Ed. I also knew that his cell phone is plugged into the outlet in the bonus room. So, I call Jenn (my BF that I am living with) and ask her to get Ed to get his phone. She tells me that she has been throwing up since about 6am, but was scheduled to substitute that morning and was going in anyway. So, Ed gets on the phone, I tell him that the car broke down, and then he says, "Hold on...I think I am going to be sick. I'll call you back." I was like great....whatever happens with the car...I can't go to work because I needed to go home and take care of my boys. Silas hadn't been throwing up, so I knew that I needed to protect him from Ed and Timmy. Back to the car...I decided to turn off the car and start it again to see if it would move, and PTL it did...I was able to move it up the ramp and turn right into a Shell gas station. Then...it wouldn't move anymore, so I parked it. In the meantime, Jenn called me to ask me what exit I was on...I told her and she said that is the same exit she is getting off for work. So, she was going to pick me up at the Shell station, I was going to take her to work, and then I would have her car for the day while we tried to figure out what was wrong with mine.

Let me just say, that I feel it was NO coincidence that I broke down near enough to the same exit that Jenn was going to be driving by...God's HAND was in this situation. As hard as it is knowing that the van is broke, and Ed and I don't have the money to fix it...God is still in control.

Back to my day, I called my dad, because he is pretty familiar with cars, and I describe to him what the car did, and he said, "Sounds like the transmission, not an easy fix." I threw up my hands and went WHAT NOW GOD!?! It seems like ever since we pulled out of UMHB to move to GA, we have been met with trials...but like I said before...God orchestrated the events that brought us to this point. My mom got on the phone and as always, gave me the MOST encouraging words that I needed to hear. (Side note: from the moment that Ed and I felt God leading us to Georgia, my mom has ALWAYS had the right words to say to be EXACTLY what I needed to hear. All those times we felt like giving up and throwing in the towel and moving back to Tx. Mom was there... So, Mom...if you are reading this....THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart for EVERYTHING you have said...God is using you in a MIGHTY way in our lives. I LOVE YOU so much!) She told me, that this didn't surprise God, and HE will take care of us.

The SPRINT RR Assistance program, only gives you 3 miles free for towing. I looked around me and saw nothing that looked like a auto garage in the area. She then said, it was $4 to $7 for each mile after that and they only take cash. Well, surprise, surprise...I didn't have cash on me. She also said that it would be free if the tow truck to me back to their shop. She said sometimes they have mechanics there also. So, Mom had told me to pray, pray, pray before she hung up, so that's what I did. I sat in my van at this Shell gas station, and just cried out to God. I prayed that God would send a tow truck that would have a mechanic at their shop. Because I knew I could not pay for more than 3 miles. I waited...I waited...I waited....in the meantime, Ed calls me back and tells me HE has thrown up at 8 times, and Timmy is now dry heaving and that I needed to come home and take care of Silas so he didn't have to get near him. I told him I had Jenn's car, but I had to wait with the van until the tow truck got there.

The tow truck arrived. This towing company did not have a mechanic, but he told me that he would give me 5 miles free, and the nearest auto shop was 4 1/2 miles (God is watching out for me). He also looked at the engine and checked some things and said it looks like the transmission. He said the auto shop that he was taking me to, didn't work on transmissions, but it was a family owned business, and they would take care of me. (God is watching over me) On the way over, the tow truck man called ahead and told them what was going on, so when I got there, all I had to do was sign something I left to head to Newnan.

I got home about 10:15...Ed and Timmy hadn't thrown up since about 9:30 so they were both resting. I got Silas up fed him breakfast, and we went to Kroger to get Sprite, Gatorade and Chicken Noodle Soup for the sickly.

The rest of the day was spent going up and down the stairs fixing drink, soup, crackers for the sick ones and trying to figure out how I was going to get to work the rest of the week. I just started a new job and I don't have any personal days earned yet...so I couldn't afford to miss another day of work.

Later that afternoon, I started feeling nauseous too. I was like, "Oh no, not me too" I had to go pick up Jenn at 3:30, and had to keep pulling over because I felt like I had to throw up. Luckily, I didn't...and those feelings passed after a while. (I have a cold/sinus drainage, so I think that is what was making me feel nauseous.)

Anyway, Ed and Timmy stayed up stairs in the family room or our bedroom all day. Silas was very needy....everytime I left the room to get something, he cried out for me. By the end of the day, Jenn, Ed and Timmy felt much better. However, Jenn's husband Ryan (who has staying at his parents with their 3 year old daughter) came home throwing up too. So, in the household of 7, 4 of them were sick with the flu...NOT FUN!

But...Tuesday is a new day...Timmy went to school....I went to work, and Ed is eating again. All is well in the Lockwood household.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Living By Faith

Ok...this is WAY overdue. I really need to get in the daily habit of blogging for all my friends and family in Texas!!! I promise I will try and do better :)

Since arriving to Georgia, God has DEFINITELY been teaching Ed and I lessons upon lessons. Let me start off by saying that we KNOW God wants us here, but things have been rough for us. There have been MANY, MANY times where either Ed or myself have said, "Let's just go back to Texas." We have literally fallen on our faces before God and cried out to HIM for re-assurance. We never thought when we got here that it would take so long for me to find a job. We arrived on September 1st and I didn't start working full time until November 3rd. 2 full months without money coming in...yikes! Fortunately for us, God used my parents to bless us tremendously with money to help us make ends meet. We also had some very special friends send us money as well.

Through our financial crunch came lesson #1 - I now know what it's like to not know how you are going to feed your children. When you get to this point, you have no where else to look but UP. God has given me a heart for those needy, poor, hurting souls out there. When you don't have much, it makes you appreciate every single meal you eat, every piece of clothes you have, the roof above your head. The fact that you know your children will be warm at night. My God has provided for ALL our needs! He has proved faithful!

Getting my job came lesson #2 - Patience. Patience. Patience. When we try to "take hold" of the reins of our life, then things are chaotic. I can't tell you how many resumes I sent through email, how many on-line applications I filled out - at least 200 plus. I had 3 interviews and the 3rd interview was with Life. The 1st two, I had NO peace at all when I left. I knew that wasn't where God wanted me. But when I had my interview at Life...I could actually see myself sitting at that desk. I had a vision of a pic of Ed and I on the corner of the desk. I had a GREAT interview with one of the professors. I felt very confident upon leaving. It was a Monday, and they told me that I would hear by Thursday of that week. Well, Thursday came and went, Friday, came and went. I was so disappointed. I couldn't believe that I didn't get it. I went home to NC for the weekend to visit my family to get my mind off the fact that I thought that was the job God had for me. When I arrived back to Georgia on Sunday, I started once again the normal chore of a Sunday night looking in the paper for jobs and applying for those I was interested in. Still, I was very unsettled about not getting the job at Life. I started questioning if I was even good enough for any job. Ed was extremely encouraging to me. He told me that I needed to call Life on Monday and see if they had filled the position. He said, "until you know if it's filled, you may still be in the pool of candidates." So, I called the HR dept at Life and they told me that they had not received any documents stating who they were offering the position to. So, I called the professor who I interviewed with, and he told me that he remembered me and they still hadn't decided. The interviews had to get pushed back that had been scheduled later in the week, and they needed to meet with the department heads to decide. Well...that got me excited...there was still a chance. The next Wednesday, I attended Substitute Training for Coweta county schools. I was going to be a sub until I found a full time job. That afternoon I was in Kroger buying some groceries, and I got the call...the answer to my prayers....Life University was offering me a full time job. I WAS THRILLED! If I hadn't been in Kroger then I would have screamed. My heart started beating so fast!!! My start date was November 3rd. I really enjoy working here. The professors I work for are great and I am doing what I went to college for. :) The only bad part is that Life University is in Marietta, GA which is about 40 miles from Newnan, GA where my friend lives. But in Atlanta traffic, it takes me anywhere from 1 hour to 1 1/2 hours to get to work and the same amount of time to get home. That can be tiring, but I just sing away with my IPOD...Im good to go :) I don't get to see the kids except for 2 hours a day Mon-Fri, but on the 22nd of November, we are moving into our apartment that is about 10 miles from where I work, so the commute will be much less. Can't wait to see all my stuff that has been in storage for so long...it's going to be like Christmas.

There is much more I could write, but I will close for now. I am really hoping that I can blog on a regular basis. I don't want all my Texas friends to think I fell off the planet in Georgia! We have taken some pics of the kids recently, so I will try to get those up as well.

Love you guys!

Thursday, July 31, 2008

A Night To Remember

I write in anticipation for Friday night - my last Diva night with the ladies at my church. Those ladies that I like to call my family! We have had MANY Diva nights full of memories...and I know that this one will be the best one ever! I have been sitting here reading some blogs that I regularly read, and I started getting emotional thinking about the ladies that God has placed in my life. Each one of these ladies that will be joining me tomorrow night has made a mark on my life. A mark that will NEVER go away. Some are spiritual markers, others are friendship markers. These are ladies that I will TRULY miss with all that is within me when I move to Atlanta. I know that as mothers, we don't always get a chance to share what each of us means to each other...time is never our friend. The kids usually take up a lot of our time. (Thank God for ALL the children represented in this group of ladies!!!!) But I just want to share a little bit about some of the ladies that will keep a piece of my heart in Texas.

Bethany Waters - wife of my husband's best friend. I know we don't get to spend as much time together as we would like. But you have encouraged me so much spiritually over all these years...especially recently! I am amazed at the work that God is doing in your life. 8 years is a long time, and we have been through a lot together, we have SO many memories --- I will never forget that night that you were pregnant with Faith and I was pregnant with Timmy, and we went to the convenient store up the road because we were craving ice cream...Tim and Ed just laughed at us...but it's a memory in my book that I will never forget. Speaking of Faith...I remember when you and Tim were trying for so long to get pregnant after Hannah, and it seemed like all around us the Lord was blessing everyone with a child...everyone but you...I remember how hard it was on you...you never spoke it out loud, but I could tell...oh how I prayed that God would give you another child...and when you called me on that June day and told me you were pregnant...what an answer to prayer!!!! I still remember where I was when I got your call...and then, I called Ed...and these were his words to me, "Now, you and I can get pregnant. I didn't want us to get pregnant until Bethany did." And in God's beautiful timing, HE allowed us to be pregnant at the same time. That was so fun to do together! I will NEVER forget you Bethany...even though I'll be so far away...you will always have a piece of my heart! I love you Sister!

Shelly Cook - girl...where do I begin?!?!? I know I have told you before, but I feel a connection to your soul that I can't describe. I was reading through my journal tonight and I found an entry on March 6, 2005 that states, "Lord, at Home Group tonight, I felt you leading me to draw Shelly out and encourage her." I still remember that night as if it was yesterday. It wasn't like we weren't friends...I mean I had been in Texas for 5 years, (I taught Ethan Lego Soup when he was a baby), but somehow that night things changed. Shelly...I have watched you grow into a godly woman who desires to be what God has called you to be. I have watched you and Matt's marriage grow into a beautiful picture of what God has ordained marriage to be. I can't wait to see how God is going to use your family. I know He will use you in a mighty way! You will always be one of my sisters Shelly....thanks for letting me in! Take care of my heart...I love you Sister!

Susan Cook - my "mom" in Texas. You took me in and made me feel like one of your daughters. Never did I ever question your love for me. I never dreamed when I'd move to Texas that I would find a family just like mine! Thank you from the bottom of my heart for making me feel like I was at home with you and Donnie. Your godly example will always be something that has helped mold me into the woman I am today. I know that you will wear many crowns in heaven! I will never forget you! I love you always!

Tabitha Millikan - I know that I have shared this with you before, but God used you to help me heal after my miscarriage. And for that, we will be eternally connected at the soul. I will never forget what you said, what you did, and how you were there to just hold me and let me cry on your shoulder. You had walked in my shoes...and you knew exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you once again for being a part of one of my spiritual markers. I love you!

Amy Frans - I know that we haven't spent a lot of time together, but I still consider you part of a spiritual marker in my life. You may not know the whole story, but you being pregnant with Molly Jo when I had my miscarriage in 2006 was instrumental in my healing also. The day you announced on CBC moms that you were pregnant with Molly Jo, I had to tell everyone I had miscarried. Those days were some of the hardest days I have ever had to endure. You didn't even know that I was envious of the child you were caring inside your womb. I wanted sooo bad for it to be me! I had wanted to get pregnant so bad that I took things out of God's hands and tried to do them by myself. That summer of 2006, I did a Beth Moore Bible Study with some ladies in my ABF, and through that study, God showed me how envious I had been toward you and that I needed to confess that sin and make it right with you. I remember the day that God told me to go ask your forgiveness during church...at first I was like..."why God? Amy doesn't even know how I have been feeling." But God said to me..."You don't want your bitterness and envy to affect Amy's walk with me." So, with the Lord leading me, I stepped out of my seat and came to you and asked for your forgiveness. And you know what amazed me the most Amy...you didn't even flinch..you didn't look at me with disgust, you didn't look annoyed with me, you lovingly took me in your arms and said that you understood, and you forgave me. It was that simple...your act of forgiveness catapulted me into a season of sweet fellowship with my Lord. And later that summer, God in HIS PERFECT TIMING, allowed me to become pregnant with my beautiful baby boy Silas. I will be forever grateful for your forgiveness Amy! And when I look at Molly Jo, I am always reminded of that Summer of 2006 when God changed my heart and HE changed my life! Thanks Amy! Love you!

Shannon Heriford - my SOUL SISTA!!!! - I don't even know how to start, words aren't even sufficient enough to describe what you mean to me. I have never been around someone who is so much like me and who understands me like you do. It doesn't matter where we are...church, diva nights, picnics...when we see each other..it's immediate screaming, squealing, hugging, laughter...I love you girl! There is NO-ONE like you! Diva night in Georgia will NEVER be the same without my Soul Sista!!! I still remember the night you came into Bible Study...God had done a MARVELOUS, MIRACULOUS thing in your life and Jason's life...and all the ladies in that group were witnesses to the goodness of God...(I'm the new EVE)..., and now...God allowed you to have little Maggie...what a beautiful picture of God's love for HIS children. Please know that I will forever be connected to your soul! I love you Shannon!

There are many, many more ladies...but I will post again Saturday after my Diva night. To all you ladies in my life...your love amazes me! :)

Saturday, July 19, 2008

Brown Baby

I was watching a new Disney movie tonight with Timmy - College Road Trip with Martin Lawrence and Raven Symone. It was really funny and a good family movie. The family had a young boy about 7 or 8, and at one point in the movie, he had done something bad and came to his dad (Martin Lawrence) to ask forgiveness. Well, Martin hugged him and said, "It's ok son, I still love you" and the little boy said, "I love you too Daddy".

Well, Timmy looked at me and said, "Awww, I like that mommy. Next time let's get a brown baby".

I said "What?"

He said, "You know like him. Let's get a brown one like him next time".

I just started laughing so hard...

From the mouth of babes....