This week has been just what I have needed during this time in my life. My boys are spending the week with my sister in NC so that Ed could help out ISF with training camp. I have been able to spend time thinking and reflecting on our situation, and thanking God once again for the blessings. Don't get me wrong, I miss my boys terribly, but having a quiet house at night has been a nice change for a little while.
Recently, I have come to learn about several people going through traumatic changes in their life. Some of these people I know very personally, and others are strangers. It has made me once again put my life into perspective. Our finances are tighter than they have ever been...sometimes we don't know how we are going to buy groceries and gas, much less any "wants". But as I mentioned in my previous post, Ed and I have been blessed. We do not have to worry about losing our car, we do not have to worry about getting evicted, we have water and electricity. Our children are healthy, they do not have a long term illness. I am pregnant with our 3rd child, and each day that passes brings me one day closer to meeting this baby that God has entrusted me to carry. We have been blessed with a 2nd car as a gift which has allowed us to actually save money on gas. I could go on and on about how I am blessed...but I say all of this to lead into the reason for the title of my post.
With all that I have, I don't want to be "comfortable" with just going through the motions. I don't want to just be satisfied with our blessings, and forget to make God the priority in my life. I have a tendency when things are going good, to put God on a shelf and act like I don't need HIM. But when things are stressful, and I don't know where the money is going to come from to pay for this or that, then I want to take God off the shelf and beg HIM to help me. But what kind of relationship is that with the ONE who gives me breath to breathe, blesses us beyond our comprehension, and watches over and protects us on a daily basis. (I can name at least 4 incidents in the past 2 weeks where I know an angel put their hand on my bumper and prevented someone from hitting me.) I should never be "going through the motions". First and foremost, GOD should be the center of my universe. So many times I put Ed and the boys above God and that shouldn't be. When we moved up here to GA, we were stepping out on faith. But do I really have the faith and believe that God can take care of us? If so, then why do I find myself trying to "control" areas in my life that should be HIS. My whole LIFE should be HIS, and yet somehow, in my little woman brain, I think I know what's best for my life. It's during these times where I put God on the shelf, when things are the hardest for us. I want my every breath to be about HIM...I want my faith to be so strong, that I NEVER put God on a shelf again. I don't want to go through the motions...I want a deep, personal relationship with my Saviour. I can't have that relationship if I don't spend time with HIM, in the word, in prayer on a consistent, daily basis.
Timmy is getting ready to start 1st grade on August 3rd, and I am determined to get into a routine where family devotions is a priority! I remember vividly the nights when I was younger, that our family would sit in the living room, and Dad would open up that big, white family Bible and we would spend time TOGETHER as a family in the Word. I also remember how exciting it was when I could FINALLY read and was able to take that big, white family Bible and read a passage on my own. I want Timmy to experience that. Ed and I need to be intentional with our son's lives. We don't need to rely on the church to raise them up spiritually. That is OUR responsibility as parents. I want our boys to truly understand what it means to walk by faith and not by sight. I want them to understand the reason why we left Texas and moved to GA. But most importantly, I want them to come to know the Lord as their personal Saviour. I want them to know God on a personal level, and understand what it means to follow HIM.
This week has definitely been a week of reflection. I look forward to bringing my boys back on Sunday, and starting a fresh, new walk where GOD is the center of our universe.