My Grandpa

May 27, 1924 - July 31, 2011

I lost my grandpa yesterday.

It's hard being 33 weeks pregnant living in Texas and unable to fly up for the funeral. I want to be there so bad! It's been a long journey of suffering for my grandpa since his first stroke in 1995. Being in a rest home for 15 plus years hasn't been easy on any of us. The past couple of years grandpa didn't know some of us when we visited, and it was really hard to see him unable to talk, laugh, walk or run. But now, he is walking on the streets of gold. Seeing his Savior face to face. Reunited with Grandma who passed in 1993.

My dad is the oldest child in his family, and when I would go with him to visit his dad, my grandpa, it warmed my heart to see my dad rub grandpa's forehead, hold his hand...showing such comfort to him. My dad was by his side when he took his last breath. I can only imagine the moment when he opened his eyes in heaven....

I have many, many precious memories of my grandpa from my childhood. We lived in a house behind their house, so we were practically at grandpa and grandma's house everyday! We had picnics at the red picnic table in the back yard, my sisters and I would play store in the well house, sitting on the front porch with grandpa and grandma and watching the cars go by, playing on his blue car carrier truck from work, picking vegetables in the garden next to his house, going to their house during winter storms when the power would go out because they had a gas stove, family dinners at the dining room table when grandma would make a delicious ham, riding the bus with grandpa when he would pick up children for the bus ministry, eating big lifesaver suckers on the bus, walking into the kitchen and seeing him and my dad drinking a cup of coffee, watching grandpa and grandma reading the Bible together in their chair in their bedroom every night, Listerine, the green buick, the yellow van, those blue works shirts and blue pants, walking in and watching him shine his shoes on his shoe holder box, going to the second floor and talking to grandpa and grandma through the vent on the floor, listening to grandpa laugh and laugh at Home Alone, watching how my grandpa would care for my grandma after her strokes, seeing how much he missed grandma when she passed away....

I know that grandpa is in a better place, he isn't suffering anymore, and he now has a glorified body, but I still miss him and can't wait to see him again in Heaven!

Long Overdue Update

Hello one and all....October 2010 was a LOOOONNNGGG time ago, and so much has happened in our life since then. I will make bullet points to highlight the main events.

*Ed moved to Round Rock, TX on January 28, 2011 to secure employment, and the kids and I stayed in NC so I could continue working until then.

*We announced on February 14th, that we were having baby #4! Unexpected, unplanned blessing.

*Ed secured employment at Sears Holdings Call Center starting March 14th, and came up to NC to move us down the first weekend in March.

*We moved in with friends of ours until we could locate an apartment/house of our own.

*Ed had an interview at Dell for a sales position...did not receive an offer, BUT on the same day, I was given the opportunity to watch our friend's three boys. This was an answer to prayer because I needed to find some type of employment, but needed to be able to do it from home with the kiddos.

*Found a 4 bedroom, 2 1/2 bath house for rent within our price range! We happened upon this house when we were looking for a different house. We called the realtor, found out the price of rent, and schedule a walk through for later in that day. By the end of the day, the house was ours.

*Moved into our house on April 16th. It was like Christmas opening up my boxes that had been in storage since October 2009.

*Found out on May 18th, that our baby #4 is a BOY! Jeremiah Neil Lockwood will be arriving via c-section sometime around the middle of September. Looks like I can sell my baby girl clothes and buy some much needed boy clothes.

We are looking forward to the summertime, and having Timmy home with us everyday. Ed is currently looking for other employment with better pay to help us make ends meet better. Also, my mom is arriving on June 7th for a couple of weeks, so it will be amazing to have a taste of home. I can't wait to show her my house. I really want to try and stay on top of this blogging thing. I am contemplating doing the project 365 starting memorial day so that I can get the blogs bound in a book about our year. It will just require me to remember to take a picture each day.

I hope you enjoyed this update...I am not sure if I even have any readers anymore. But oh well...

Oh The Beauty

I am sitting here drinking a lovely cup of Starbucks coffee (that I won as a door prize at MOPS on Tuesday), looking out the window at the BEAUTIFUL fall day the Lord has given us, with 2 beautiful babies rolling around at my feet. Silas (3) and Emma (9 mo.) are playing BEAUTIFULLY together...for the moment.

It's Thursday...my day off...and as my to do list sits unchecked, I have to take the time and be truly thankful for the BEAUTY of the moment. As you read in my last post, Texas has really been on my heart lately...the where/when/how has really been pulling me down...however, last night at church...God gave the most amazing sermon to Pastor Fletcher, and it was EXACTLY what I needed to hear. He preached on the Power Of Prayer. There were so many great nuggets of truth, that I am still dwelling on the sermon today. For so long, I have been guilty of not praying in faith about our move to Texas. I pray, but not believing, that anything will change. In I Thessalonians, it says we are to PRAY WITHOUT CEASING. I have NOT been praying without ceasing. I have not really poured my heart out to God daily, hourly, minute by minute like I should. I have just been waiting around to see what doors God will open for us. I was truly convicted last night about how I have been viewing my life as so burdensome because we don't know what's next. But I need to stop and be thankful for the BEAUTY of everything around me. I have an amazing husband that GOD made just for me, I have 3 beautiful children who are healthy, I have wonderful parents who haven't kicked us to the curb after a year of living with them :),I have 2 precious sisters that I have been able to spend SOOO much time with this past year, and EVERYDAY I get to see God's BEAUTIFUL creation. I have taken so many of these things for granted, and I hope and pray that I will not let myself get so burden down with the things in my world, that I forget to embrace the BEAUTY of the moment!

Until Next Time

The Eyes Of Texas

Last time I updated, I said I would dedicate a post to Texas. So, here goes....

Most everyone knows already, but Ed and I feel like the Lord wants us back in Texas. We are not sure about how, when, etc., but we do know that Texas is where we will move next.

We have been living with my parents in NC since October 24, 2009. We are EXTREMELY grateful to my parents for opening up their home to our family of 5. Eight people, three of them being under the age of 8, can be a little crowded at times. I am normally an extremely organized person. I wouldn't go as to say I am obsessive about it, but you can ask Ed, in the past, I was extremely organized. I long to be that way again, but it's been hard for me to organize my life in the our living space in my parent's house. I am so looking forward to having a place of our own again, (not that I'm unhappy here at my parents), but ready to get a structured schedule going for our family. Living with my parents has helped us to get caught up on our bills, and even pay some debt off so it's definitely been a blessing. But after a year, we feel like it's time to grow our roots elsewhere. The question is...where?!?!

We know beyond a shadow of doubt that Texas is where we will be one day. Ed and I have been pursuing employment down in the Austin/Round Rock area. I have even been applying at jobs back at UMHB, but we haven't had much response. Ed did receive a phone interview with Dell Computers back in August, but it didn't pan out. Ed has heard from a couple of companies that says, "When you move down here, give us a call." Well, Ed and I do not have a peace about moving our families to Texas without employment first. When we moved to GA, we struggled for 2 months before employment was obtained. We both have been seeking God's face as to HIS will for us...what's our next step...when do we go....

So....now we wait. We continue with the life we have made for ourselves here, and we wait to hear God say, "Move Now". If you remember, please pray for us as we wait for God's leading. We are anxious to return back "Home" to Texas, and sometimes can become a little impatient.

Until Next Time....

Where Has The Time Gone?!?

I don't know why, but it seems like my life has been on warp speed for about 10 months or so. I don't know if it was adding a 3rd child to the mix, or if I am just too busy with other things. There has been so much going on in our lives since I last posted, and that I am not sure I can update on everything in this one post.

I will let this post be about our summer, and then I will "try" to update on a more regular basis.

I can't believe that we are already 6 weeks into the new school year. It seems our summer FLEW by. However, this summer, the children and I went to the beach with my family. Boy, was that a dream come true. When we were growing up, a summer beach trip happened pretty much every summer, we would head down to Myrtle Beach, SC around the first of June. There were 3 family birthdays during that first week of June, and inevitably, one of us would celebrate our birthday down there. Anyway....I digress...I have ALWAYS dreamed about going to the beach with my parents and sisters. This week was SO much fun! I wish I would have taken a picture of Silas and Timmy's face when they saw the ocean. It was the first time for Silas, but the first time that Timmy would remember. They were afraid to go in the ocean at first, but then once they realized that the waves went back out, they LOVED it! I loved watching the boys "jumping" the little waves at the shore. It was a very interesting trip having a 5 month old at the beach, and my mom's back was out, so she stayed under the umbrella holding Emma most of the time, but my sisters and I definitely made memories and reminisced while jumping the waves like we did as kids. By far, the one thing I will remember the most is Silas jumping in the pool. Well, it was more like belly flopping, but what was so surprising is that he was fearless. We had to make sure we were standing there because he would just jump/flop without us being ready. I loved hearing him say, "Moove, Moove, Moove", while he used his little arm with the huge floaties to show us where he wanted us to move. He really only wanted us to move back so that he could jump/flop into the water instead of in our arms. Whoever was the lucky one to be the recipient of "Silas' jumping" had to be ready to be exhausted by the end. As soon as he came up from under the water, he was saying, "Gin...Gin". It was a great memory, and we have pictures to prove it.

The 2nd big trip we took was back home to Texas, Even though NC will always be "home" for me since I grew up there, Ed and I feel like Texas is truly where we feel our roots are at. When we got married, we established our home there, and Texas will always be where we belong. We are currently waiting on God's opening the doors for us to move back. We feel a peace that Texas is where HE wants us, we are just waiting on HIS timing. (This topic deserves it's own post...will work on that one next) Anyway, Ed and I drove with the kids, down to Texas the 3rd week in July. Ed and Timmy were in Clayton and Blair Hodges' wedding, so we decided to make a week trip out of it, and make our rounds to visit our friends and family. We REALLY enjoyed our time in Texas. The trip was pretty long though, many, many hours in the van, but overall the kids did wonderful! We tried to do most of our driving at night so that the kids would sleep for us. They did great! I will wait until my TEXAS post to give more details of this trip because God did so much for us while we were there.

I am glad that I decided to post tonight. It really is very therapeutic to journal/blog. I hope to be able to continue to do this more.

Until next time....

2010 Update

I can't believe I haven't written since I announced the birth of our daughter. Things have been really crazy in this house with 8 people living here, but Ed and I are forever grateful to my parents for allowing us to get back on our feet. My parents and my older sis have been a Godsend when it comes to watching the kids. There is so much to update, that I will just list them out. Hope this isn't too jumbled.

1. Ed is still working at Market America in Greensboro. He has been having mandatory overtime, so his work schedule has been pretty crazy. It's definitely a change from GA when I was working 40 hours a week and he was at home. I am enjoying having so much time with the kids, but I REALLY miss time with Ed too.

2. About 8 weeks ago, I started working part-time for my best friend from high school. He owns 3 different companies, and I am his administrative assistant. I only work between 12 and 15 hours a week, but it's enough time for me to get out of the house and make a little extra money.

3. Timmy is doing pretty well adjusting to NC. He is really enjoying playing with his cousins. He loves going to church and participating in Junior Church activities. He sings in the choir and last week he was an usher. He has joined a coach pitch baseball team, and his first game is this coming Tuesday. He will be 7 years old on this coming Saturday. He has REALLY been asking a lot of questions recently about salvation. So, if you think about it, will you please pray for our little boy. Thanks.

4. Silas has grown SOOO much since we moved to NC. He has started talking much better, and he is DEFINITELY a Nana and Papa's boy. He LOVES keys like they are made of gold and ALWAYS wants the keys as soon as we put his clothes on every morning, even if we aren't going anywhere. He will be 3 on May 5th, and we are going to try and potty train him this summer. I have really enjoyed spending more time with him since we moved to NC.

5. Emma, our new baby girl, she will be 4 months old this week, and I can't believe how big she is. We did have a little scare last month around the middle of March, she got pneumonia and RSV. She was pitiful. It was the 2nd scariest sickness my kids have had. (The first time was when Timmy had to be hospitalized with a severe asthma attack) The coughing was just horrible to hear. I ended up sleeping on the recliner with her on my chest so I could be right there if she got into trouble with her breathing. She has beaten this sickness, and is eating and sleeping great. She has been sleeping through the night for about 3 weeks, but will wake up around 3am wanting her paci. I put it in her mouth, and then she falls back to sleep til 5:30 or 6:00. I am LOVING having a daughter and picking our her clothes and bows. We have been truly blessed with our Emma girl.

Well, this about sums it up...I will try to blog more often and post pictures soon.

I am not sure if anyone is even reading this, but if I still have a few readers out there...sorry for the delay. Thanks for reading....

Emma Grace Lockwood IS HERE!

Born: January 5, 2010

Time: 7:55 am

Weight: 8 lbs. 15 oz.

Length: 22 inches long

She joins Big Brother Timmy:

and Big Brother Silas:


and we couldn't be more blessed. We have 3 BEAUTIFUL healthy children! I will write more of the birth story later. It's hard to type holding Emma with one arm and typing with the other. Just wanted to inroduce our daughter to the world!

Long OVERDUE Update

I can't believe it has been so long since I have posted on my blog! I have so many things to catch everyone up on, that I am going to be lazy and list them.

1. I moved back to Winston-Salem, NC on November 12th, and it seems like I have been running NON-STOP around here. The boys have settled into the new routine in NC and Ed has completed his training at work, and is officially taking live calls. He works at the Help Desk for Market America in GSO, NC. It's been REALLY nice to FINALLY be home with Silas and Timmy.

2. We moved in with my parents, so I have unpacked and settled into the space available to my family. My parents are VERY gracious to allow us to move in while we get back on our feet. It's SO nice to be able to spend so much time with my parents daily.

3. We spent Thanksgiving Day over at my little sister's house. We ate TOO much food and laughed WAY too hard! Lots of memories were made that will last a lifetime.

4. I found an OB to take over my prenatal care, so it was a pretty smooth transition. Ed and I took the hospital tour a couple of weeks ago so that we would be familiar with the surroundings. It will be REALLY different to not have Emma in Texas like I did with the boys. The fact that I have so much family around is pretty darn amazing! I CAN'T WAIT to have family visit at the hospital.

5. My pregnancy has been going very well since my arrival in NC. Since I am not working outside of the home, I have been able to take naps when Silas naps in the afternoon. This has helped tremendously in this last couple of weeks when I feel like I am the size of an elephant. After becoming a stay at home mom since arriving in NC, I don't know how in the world I managed when I worked 40 hours outside of the home...sometimes I can't make it without a nap everyday. God has blessed me tremendously by allowing us to live with my parents. It's AMAZING to have help getting Timmy to and from school and having free childcare when I have appointments.

6. We found out on December 23rd, that Emma is BREECH! I was 37 weeks, but Emma was measuring 39 weeks and they estimated her to weigh 8 lbs. 4 oz. On the ultrasound, we were able to see that she has a TON of hair! The ultrasound technician couldn't believe how long her hair was...she kept pointing to it and saying, "Look at her hair just floating in that fluid." I have had TERRIBLE heartburn with this pregnancy, and I REALLY wanted her to have a lot of hair...looks like I will get my wish! They told me that if she didn't turn on her own, that I would have to have a c-section. I have ALWAYS been afraid of having a c-section. Something about the word surgery kinda scares me. I have NEVER had a surgery in my entire life other than having my wisdom teeth cut out, but I don't count that as a surgery because I only had "laughing gas" and it was in my mouth. I went back to the doctor on December 28th, and she was still breech, so the OB scheduled a c-section for Tuesday, January 5th.

7. After all these months, I now know Emma's birthday 01/05/10. That is if I don't go into labor naturally between now and then. I have had some significant contractions, but nothing close together...Ed is off the next 2 days, so if I went into labor that would be just great. But if not, then we will welcome Emma Grace Lockwood into the world on Tuesday, January 5th at 7:30am EST. I packed our bags today, and it was so hard to decide what to bring her home in. I have packed a couple of options, so we shall wait and see what this little one looks like before I decide.

Since I have never had a c-section before, I am unsure of what the recovery will be like, but as soon as I am able, I will try to blog pictures of Emma's arrival and her "birth" story!

PICTURE TIME....

Here is a picture of me at 36 weeks...it's hard to tell, but I am REALLY carrying LOW. I am even lower today, I feel like Emma is going to fall out.



Here is a picture of the boys playing in the snow that we got the week before Christmas! Timmy LOVED it...Silas wasn't too sure about it at first, but once Daddy came outside, he got off the porch and walked around in it.



Here is a picture of Silas wearing a suit that was handed down from his cousin Matthew...isn't he just the CUTEST!



Here is a picture of Timmy doing the Bungee thingy in the mall.



Here is a picture of the boys in their Christmas PJs on Christmas morning.



Here is a picture of Ed and I on our way to Ed's work Christmas party.



That's all for now....check back in a couple of weeks to see pics of my baby girl!

Much Love in NC

Let Freedom Ring

My sweet friend in Texas, Shelly, had this video posted on her Facebook page, and in light of it being Veterans Day, I just had to post it today.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S8GgzOQ-UHY

This song reminds me so much of home because I grew up listening to the Gaither Vocal Band. That is one memory that I enjoy...going to concerts with my sisters to see the Gaither Vocal Band, Gold City, The Cathedrals...Southern Gospel music is definitely a memory that I hold dear to my heart.

Here are the words in case you want to follow along.... Enjoy

LET FREEDOM RING
Deep within the heart has always known that there was freedom
Somehow breathed into the very soul alive
The prisoner, the powerless, the saved have always known it
There's something that keeps reaching for the sky

Even life begins because a baby fights for freedom
And songs we love to sing have freedom's theme
Some have walked through fire and flood to find a place of freedom
And some faced hell itself for freedom's dream

Let freedom ring wherever minds know what it means to be in chains
Let freedom ring wherever hearts know pain
Let freedom echo through the lonely streets where prisons have no key
We can be free and we can sing let freedom ring

God built freedom into every fiber of creation
And He meant for us to all be free and whole
When my Lord bought freedom with the blood of His redemption
His cross stamped pardon on my very soul

I'll sing it out with every breath, I'll let the whole world hear it
This hallelujah anthem of the free
That iron bars and heavy chains can never hold us captive
The Son has made us free and free indeed

Let freedom ring down through the ages from a hill called Calvary
Let freedom ring wherever hearts know pain
Let freedom echo through the lonely streets where prisons have no key
You can be free and you can sing let freedom ring
Let freedom echo through the lonely streets where prisons have no key
You can be free and you can sing let freedom ring
You can be free and you can sing let freedom ring
Let freedom ring

I like America

I just had to write this post about a conversation overheard between my 6 year old son, and my 6 year old nephew. This is classic....

While throwing the football back and forth to each other:

Timmy: Andrew, what is your favorite college football team? Do you like the Georgia Bulldogs?

Andrew: No, I like America.

Timmy: Are they the elephants?

Andrew: Yeah

Timmy: Yeah, I like them too!

My little sister immediately called me to share in this conversation. Our son has been saturated with college football since the time he could hold a football. Our nephew, doesn't really know any college football teams or even what college football is. I can TOTALLY tell this friendship of cousins is going to be amazing!

Thank you Lord for moving us to NC! We are having SO much fun!

SISTERS

As my time in GA quickly draws to a close, I have had a lot of time to reflect on my future endeavors in North Carolina. There are SO many things that I am looking forward to, and I shared some of them in my last post, however, I wanted to share about some more.

I CAN NOT WAIT TO SPEND SOME QUALITY TIME WITH MY SISTERS!

Tina, Nikki, and I have been SO close almost our entire life. When I talk about my family and childhood, I really have more good memories than bad when it comes to my sisters. There are so many inside jokes and memories that can just keep us laughing for hours. There is just a bond between us that NO-ONE will EVER be able to break.

In January of this past year, I kinda got a little jealous of Tina and Nikki. The opportunity was given to Nikki to be Tina's assistant in her K-3 class at school. I was like, "WHAT?!?! Nikki gets to see Tina EVERYDAY AND WORK with her!" I SOOOO wanted to be there and enjoy in making memories. I just KNEW it was going to bring them closer together. I think my jealousy was more of not wanting to be left out, but you know what...when I came home in March, it was just as it has always been. Tina and Nikki treated me as if I had been at work with them all along. They included me in all their discussions, and was eager to share with me about the kiddos in their class.

My sisters have been there for me from the VERY beginning of our time away from each other. When Nikki got married and moved to Germany, and I when I got married and moved to Texas....I NEVER dreamed that one day we would be ALL back together again. Do you realize what this means???? Sister (and mom) Movie Nights, Dessert Nights (not just on New Years Eve), SHOPPING, SHOPPING, SHOPPING, late night talks and slumber parties (yes, even married with children you can still have a slumber party), Ladies Retreats in the mountains, workout accountability partners, Bible study partners, and so much more...

As I sit here and type this post, tears are coming to my eyes when I realize that I get to see my sisters face to face EVERYDAY! I haven't had that in over NINE years! No more just weekend visits or holiday visits. I am going to be LIVING in NC! I thank God EVERYDAY that HE is allowing us to all be together again!

Dreams REALLY do come true! Hold on sisters....I will be there soon! I love you both so very much! Oh, the memories we will make....

To My Baby Boy Silas

It's been almost 2 weeks since I had my hands on my baby boy Silas. He moved to NC on October 18th, and I'm really starting to miss him. I got to see his cute little face the other night through Skype/webcam and it was SO good to see him. He was precious...he kept saying "Mommy" and laughing...it was the first time he has ever seen how a webcam works. I am hoping to be able to "see" him again soon.

With us being separated for 4 weeks, I am so hoping and praying that Silas somehow understands how much I love him. Being two years old, I am not sure how much he understands about our most recent "move". He is living with Nana and Papa, and Daddy and "Mimmy" are there now, so I know he is in the BEST hands, but I still wonder if he ever thinks, "Where's Mommy?" I do miss Ed and Timmy, but they both can talk to me and I am able to explain to Timmy how many "wake-ups" there are until I am joining them in NC, but Silas doesn't understand. I don't think Silas even really understands that Emma is just 12 weeks away from making an appearance. I can't WAIT to get to NC so that I can spend every moment with Silas...I long for the days when I can get up with him in the morning and NOT have to leave for work. I wanted to write a letter to Silas today, so that when he is older, and he ever feels "left out", I can share this with him. So here goes....

To my dear, precious baby boy...

Silas, you are only two years old right now, and due to circumstances beyond our control, I am separated from you for a little while. I don't think you understand what is really happening...you have Nana taking care of you everyday...and next to Mommy and Daddy...Nana is the next best thing.

Since you moved to NC, you have really started using more words. You will actually get on the phone with me and say, "Hey Mommy" "I Love you". I LOVE to hear your little voice on the other end of the phone. I can just picture you walking around Nana and Papa's house with your little arms swinging by your side. You love to run around and play and I hear from Nana, that you have started finding pens, pencils, anything to write with and marking on the walls. Nana has had to watch you like a hawk. You are very active and don't really care to watch TV much, although you will sit down and watch Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. Nana has started letting you feed yourself yogurt...she says you do a good job, but do NOT like anything on your face, so Nana sits there and wipes off your little face when yogurt spills out of your mouth. I can't wait to get to NC and witness all the things you are doing.

Baby boy...when Mommy gets to NC, I am not going to have to leave you everyday to go to work. I get to stay home and take care of you. I have so many ideas of how I want to spend my time with you. You love mommy to read books to you, so I am looking forward to reading the same book over and over and over again, because when I finish reading the book, you quickly say, "Gin". You can listen to the same book 10 times or more and still want it again. I am looking forward to working on more words with you and teaching you your numbers. I can't wait to pray with you each night before you go to bed...I had just started that as part of our bedtime routine when you moved. I love to hear you repeat the prayer that I am saying. I can't wait to snuggle with you and cuddle with you while you suck your middle fingers and play with your hair. I can't wait to give you baths and listen to you scream (like a girl) when you splash me. I can't wait to go into your room and watch you sleeping and pray over you.

I am so excited about spending quality time with you and making sure you understand how important you are to me and the rest of our family. See, I am not sure you understand it, but your baby sister is on the way. This is going to make you a middle child, and speaking from experience, I want you to know that you are a VERY important part of our family. You will always be my baby boy. Mommy may have to share her time between you and baby Emma, but you will ALWAYS be just as important as her. I so want you to understand the love that I have for you sweet Silas. As your mommy, I am going to try really hard to make sure you don't feel left out once Emma makes her appearance. I want you to know mommy's heart is big enough to love you, Timmy and Emma. I will do everything I can to make sure you feel safe and secure and loved. I really think you are going to be a great big brother to Emma. I can't wait to watch you, Timmy and Emma playing together. My 3 precious children, gifts from God above.

Please don't ever forget that I love you with all my heart! You are my sweet treasure dear Silas!

Love Always,
Your Mommy

Seasons of Change - REVEALED

Well...it's now safe to reveal the Lockwood's seasons of change...

We are moving to North Carolina!

(Actually, Ed and the boys moved this past weekend.)

Ed and I have felt for a while that a change needed to take place for our family. We moved to GA in September of 2008, and it seemed like we were hit with valleys and mountain tops and then more valleys. It became clear after a year of Ed not being able to find work, that we need to pursue other locations. My family lives in Winston-Salem, NC, so Ed decided to pursue job opportunities in the area. We prayed and asked the Lord to guide our footsteps, to open doors and close doors and to show us where HE wanted us to be.

My little sister and brother-in-law moved to NC in September of 2008 from Germany, and in January of 2009, my BIL got a job at Market America in GSO. So, Ed looked and discovered there were some openings for customer service representatives at Market America. He sent his resume on a Tuesday, received a call on Thursday to set up an interview for the next Monday in NC. The interview went well, and they told us we should hear something in about 2 to 3 weeks. Well, let me just tell you, the waiting was the hardest part. But I remember my little sister telling me about a song that really helped her get through the waiting when Leo was looking for a job. It's by John Waller, it's called "While I'm Waiting" And it never failed...EVERYDAY when I was driving to or from work, that song would come on the radio, and it just reminded me to "wait on the Lord". We knew that if GOD wanted us in NC, then HE would open the doors.

So...we waited, 1 week turned to 2, and 2 weeks turned to 2 1/2...and then it happened...we got a phone call from Market America for Ed to have a final interview with the COO of the company. We were so excited, yet cautious and prayerful that God would continue to lead. In the meantime, we had decided that our best option was to move to NC when our lease was up in November, in the hopes that Ed would be able to find a job in NC by that time. We had decided the move date would be October 24th, because that would have given us two weeks to finalize things in GA, and it would be the end of 1 quarter for Timmy, and he could start the new quarter in his NC school. I was going to stay behind in GA and continue working at Life University until Ed found a job with the hopes that I would be able to come to NC by the 13th of November and not have to return to GA. When Ed got the call about the final interview, we decided it would be best for Silas to go ahead and move to NC and stay with my parents so that we could use that week to pack, clean, etc. Timmy would stay in NC and attend his school for one more week. So, Ed had the interview...he felt it went well, and they told him "you should hear back from us very soon".

We are left with waiting again....we had already placed this journey in the Lord's hands, so we knew that if HE wanted Ed at Market America...that it would all workout. Ed and Timmy moved to NC on Saturday, October 24th, and I moved in with some friends. We knew being separated was going to be hard on us, but we felt that it was important for me to continue at Life until Ed was receiving some income. We also had to think about our health insurance since Emma will be here in just 12 weeks...the longer I stay at Life, the less "Cobra" insurance we have to pay.

Well....today, October 27th, Ed received a job offer from Market America!!! When Ed called to tell me, I asked him if he was kidding with me. I couldn't believe we had our answer. God was providing a job for Ed in NC...near my family...before Emma was born...it was perfect timing.

The thought of being near my family when Emma is born brings tears to my eyes. The thought of me being able to be HOME WITH SILAS for 9 weeks before Emma comes, and help him with the transition of bringing home his little sister makes my heart flutter. But most of all...the thought of getting to spend SO much NEEDED time with my family leaves me speechless. NEVER in my WILDEST dreams would I have EVER pictured myself living back in NC with my family...it TRULY is a DREAM COME TRUE!

GOD IS GOOD ALL THE TIME...ALL THE TIME GOD IS GOOD

Happy Birthday To MY ONE AND ONLY LOVE

Today is a wonderful day in the Lockwood household, because we are celebrating the WONDERFUL birthday of the leader of our home...my hubby, Ed! I can't believe another birthday is upon us already. It seems like just yesterday we were celebrating Ed's first birthday away from Texas, and now here is birthday #2. I really wish he was able to spend his birthday with his Texas friends and family because he misses them SO much...but maybe Birthday 2010 can be spent in Texas - only the Lord knows.


I am hoping and praying that my man has a fabulous birthday and knows how much he means to me and the boys. Ed is the rock of our family! He is the man God made for me. God knew that I needed Ed to be my husband. Ed and I have walked through many trials and triumphs, and I wouldn't have wanted anyone else by my side. He is an AMAZING father to his little boys, and I CAN NOT WAIT to see him get to be "Daddy" to our baby girl Emma. I love that my husband is strong and protective, but can also show his sensitive side that I LOVE so much! I love how much he loves his family and friends, and am honored to be called his wife.

Happy 35th Birthday baby! Here's to 35 more!

My Boys at Work

Recently I have had to bring the boys to work on two separate occasions. Silas had to be dropped off a couple of weeks ago when our child care provider's son got sick at the last minute, and Ed had an appointment. Silas really liked Mommy's office...especially playing with the paperclips in Mommy's desk. It's been about a month and I am still finding paperclips in odd places in my desk drawer.

This week, Ed had to be out of town on Monday and Tuesday, so I picked Timmy up from school and brought him to the office for a couple of hours. The first day he did his homework and was really excited to be at my office.

The second day, he did his homework, but after that he was bored. So, I looked down at my "To Shred" pile and decided to let Timmy shred the pile for me. You would have thought I had just given him candy to eat. He was so excited! I had quite a bit of paper to shred, and we filled up one bag and started on another one. A little while later, he comes to my desk and says, "When I get older, I am going to get a job as a shredder, because I am really good at it." I just laughed and said Ok honey... When the pile was finished, he wanted more, so I took the time to clean out my desk and found more for him. He was so excited...See...
I liked having the boys at the office and being able to let them meet my co-workers. It was nice for the boys to be able to see where mommy works. If your company has "Bring your son or daughter to work day"...I HIGHLY recommend you partaking in the event. It was ALOT of fun for me to make memories with the boys!

Emma's 1st Shower

On Thursday, October 8th, my friend in Acworth, Sloan, threw a GA shower for me. It was the first shower I have had for Emma. I couldn't believe how precious all the decorations were and the PINK!!!!! It was SO fun to open gifts with pink and purple and brown...no BLUE! It hit me when I was opening up my gifts that "Wow! I am REALLY having a girl!" I had never had a baby girl shower, only baby boy showers, so opening up the girlie stuff was such a special treat. Here are some pics that my friend Keri took for me. Enjoy!!!!

The Table Spread of all of my favorite desserts!

The "E" hairbow holder that Sloan made for Emma's bows.

The boys helping me open a gift from Jenn and Gracyn.
It's the bumper for Emma's crib!

A precious purple gown, hat and blanket

I love this adorable sleeper. Emma will have lots of wear
out of her sleepers since she is due in January.

My friend Keri made me this adorable diaper cake.
It's so cute, I don't want to take it apart.
I will just have to wait until Emma needs size 1 diapers.

My last shower will be a family shower in North Carolina on November 14th. I am looking forward to this shower most of all, because for the first time, my little sister will actually be able to come to my baby shower...AND she is even getting to host it for me at her house. I am truly blessed!

My Precious Boys

I haven't posted in about two weeks, and I'm still not quite ready to share about our season of change, but I wanted to post about my boys.

Timmy has been growing up so much. Helping with Silas, laying hands on my belly and talking to Emma, being such a loving little boy. He's at the age where he is understanding more and more about how important God is in our life. We pray with him before bed and on the way to school, and we have been reading a Bible story book at night as part of our night time routine. Somehow we have lost the book, so Ed and I have just been telling him Bible stories from memory. I talked about Shadrach, Meschach and Abendnego and the next night Ed told him about Daniel and the Lions Den. He loves it when we tell him the stories and always reminds us at bedtime that he needs a story. Well, last night I decided to start reading the Bible to him. I started in Luke 1 with the story of Zechariah and Elisabeth. He thought it was really cool that "my name" was in the Bible like "his name" is in the Bible. I love his heart for the Bible, and how much he enjoys reading it. So, later that night, I heard his bathroom door open and I go to check on him. He was sitting on the toilet, reading his Bible. It was like the Bible was his "toilet reading" so to speak. When he first started to read, he read Psalms 23, so he enjoys reading that Psalm over and over again. I am hoping that Ed and I are able to be the parents that we need to be and raise Timmy the way God wants us to. I hope that Timmy comes to know Christ as HIS personal Savior and grows up to love God with all his heart, soul and mind.

Silas has officially moved out of the crib. I felt like it was time to move the twin bed into his room since he seemed to be getting too big for the crib. Unfortunately for Ed, it hasn't turned out to be the best timing.... Saturday was the first day he was to sleep in his big boy bed...at nap time, he REFUSED to stay in the bed. He kept crying and coming out of the bedroom, so I kept putting him back in the bed and telling him "night night" and that routine happened about 3 to 4 times. After that, he was getting the snubs, so I decided I would lay down on the floor next to his bed, wait til he fell asleep and then crawl out. It worked for about 45 minutes and then he woke up/sat up and saw that I wasn't there and out the door he came. I decided, naptime was over and we went about our day. Ed came home from work that evening and I shared with him about our "big boy bed" fiasco. So, Ed said he would give it a try. Wouldn't you know that the boy went right to sleep with no tears or coming out of his bed!!!! I couldn't believe it...Ed was beaming with pride that "Daddy can take care of business." Well, fast forward to Monday...when Silas was in the crib, he wouldn't cry out for Ed until after 9:00 most mornings...now that he can get out of bed..in walks Silas to our bedroom around 8:00....needless to say, Ed wasn't quite ready for this to happen. If you know my hubby, you know that he is a night owl and NOT a morning person. So, 8:00 was a little early for him..but he managed. We thought Silas might be sick or not feeling well, so Ed took him into the doctor, and sure enough...ear infection in his left ear. All day Silas was VERY clingy, wanting to be held, and never wanting to be put down. He didn't nap on Monday, so when I put him to bed around 7:30...he went to bed with no crying or fussing and went to sleep pretty quickly. Well, this morning at 6:00...I hear Silas crying...it was actually at 5:58 because my alarm is set for 6:00 and I knew my alarm hadn't went off yet...I waited to see if he would just cry himself back to sleep, but a few minutes later...I hear his door open and out he walks crying for "Da Dee", I try to keep him quiet so that Ed can sleep while I am getting ready for work, but Silas will have none of this...he cries even harder for "Da Dee" and goes straight into our bedroom and snuggles up next to Ed. I leave Silas in there thinking that maybe he will fall back to sleep, but about 5 minutes later, out walks Ed with Silas. I felt soooo bad that Silas was up so early. See, Ed works in the evenings, and doesn't get home until after midnight/1am so Ed hadn't had much sleep. I told Ed I still had an hour before I needed to leave for work, that I would keep Silas and he could go back to bed. Before I left, I put the pack n play up in Silas' room so that Ed could lay him back down and Silas would sleep and not be able to get out. I don't think that the timing of moving Silas into a big boy bed was very good...but it's too late to turn back now. Silas is usually an excellent sleeper, I think he is not sleeping well because he doesn't feel good. I am REALLY hoping that he will take his naps today....I know his little body needs the rest.

I am so thankful for my boys and for how much fun they are watching them grow up. I can't WAIT for Emma to get here so that I can see my boys with their baby sister! I am a little worried about Silas, but we talk about babies and Emma all the time...I am just not sure he has put two and two together. I only have 13 weeks left....time will tell.

Season of Change

Our family is currently going through a Season of Change. It's not official or complete yet, so I won't share details until it is, but life in the Lockwood house has had it's ups and downs. Ed and I have been reflecting on this past year, Sept 08 through Sept 09, and discussing the journey our lives have taken in Georgia.

There have been many blessings along the way: friendships started, relationships strengthened, health restored, a new baby girl on the way kicking me as I type, and so much more. There have also been tests and trials on this journey, times of brokenness, desert times, and feelings of loneliness.

Since we have now passed the "year" mark of living in GA, we have once again needed to refocus our attention on God and what HE wants from us. Unfortunately, I can tell you from personal experience, that when things were going "good" I tended to put God on a shelf, but when things were hard, and uncertain is when I would cry out to God for help. This is not something I am proud of, and it's something that I had to confess to God. See, God is a jealous God, and HE wants me to place HIM first in my life.

I recently joined an online Bible Study called Bloom. For our first book, we are reading Francis Chan's, "Crazy Love: Overwhelmed by a Relentless God". We have only went through the first two chapters, but it has REALLY opened up my eyes to so many things. One of them being how holy and majestic our God is. Another thing is how in the Bible, it says, "Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! (Phil 4:4) Chan follows this verse with the following paragraph:
"You'll notice that it doesn't end with "...unless you're doing something extremely important." No, it's a command for all of us, and it follows with the charge, "Do not be anxious about anything." (v. 6). That came as a pretty staggering realization. But what I realized next was even more staggering. When I am consumed by my problems - stressed out about my life, my family, and my job - I actually convey the belief that I think the circumstances are more important than God's command to always rejoice. In other words, that I have a "right" to disobey God because of the magnitude of my responsiblities."
So, this whole year, when things have been hard, and rough, and uncertain...I have been commanded to rejoice, and by NOT doing so, it's like me saying that I know what's better for me than God. I got stopped on this page for a day or two, and then picked up the book and finished the chapter. So many times I feel like I am just going through the motions of everyday life. I want my life to be intentionally focused on God...I want to have such a relationship with HIM, that I don't need to "wait until my quiet time" to have a conversation with my Saviour. To be able to stop what I am doing and PRAY when I am prompted to pray, to be able to release all my cares on HIM and let go, not holding anything back...to trust FULLY on the ONE who already knows what the outcome of this "CHANGE" will be.

Last night in my quiet time, I picked up the Our Daily Bread devotional book and turned to September 23rd. The verses assigned for that day were just what I needed to hear in that moment, "John 14:12-14 - Truly, truly I say to you, whoever belives in me will also do the works that I do; and greater works than these will he do, because I am going to the Father. Whatever you ask in my name, this will I do, that the Father may be glorified in this Son. If you ask me anything in my name, I will do it." Then, this morning, I turned to September 24th, and the title is Contentment and the verses are Matthew 6:24-34 when it talks about do not be anxious, about God clothing the lilies of the field, take no thought for what you shall eat, what you shall wear, etc. SEEK FIRST HIS KINGDOM and ALL THESE THINGS shall be added unto you.

I must share a blessing that happened recently in my life that supports these verses I read today concerning, "What shall I wear?". Ed and I have recently made new friends who go to our church and live just down the road from our house. They have 2 small boys, a 20 month old, and a 8 month old. A couple of weeks ago, we were hanging out with them at the their house when the subject of "maternity clothes" came up. Ed and I are extremely tight with our money right now, so buying me maternity clothes for the winter is way down on the list of priorities. Well, out of the blue, my friend goes, "Elizabeth....hold on...I'll be right back." She leaves the room and comes back down the stairs carrying two VERY large tubs of...you guessed it...maternity clothes! There are SO many clothes in these tubs that it's like Christmas morning every time I need to pick out something to wear. I was so BLESSED by this amazing gesture. Now, I am totally set when it comes to winter maternity clothes. This just proved to me that GOD IS watching over us and HE does CARE about the little things in our life.

Please continue to pray for our family as we are in this season of change that God's peace and direction would be so real to us. I will try to update the blog more regularly...if there is even anyone reading this blog still...it really does help me to put my thoughts on "computer".

God Bless each of you!

Emma Grace Lockwood

That is the name of the baby girl I am blessed to be carrying in my belly right now. I could NOT contain my excitement yesterday when we found out that our baby is a GIRL!

As long as I can remember, I have always wanted a daughter. I have always wanted to have a mother/daughter relationship, and God in is infinite power, has decided to make my dreams come true.

I can't wait until the day that Emma is born and they place her on my stomach and I look into the eyes of my daughter. Daughter...I love that word. I love it when it's used because of me. I love being a daughter to my parents. My mother and I didn't always have the best relationship...my middle school years were pretty rough, and I didn't always treat my mother with the respect that she deserves. But as I have gotten older, I have come to know and love my mother in a deeper way than I ever have in my life. I think when daughters become mothers...the mothers take on a more special role.

I will never forget calling my mother on NUMEROUS occassions when my oldest son was a baby/toddler and saying these words, "Mom, if I was anything like Timmy is right now..God Bless You!" Me becoming a mother thrust me into my mother's world. I was so far from home, and yet my mother was ALWAYS there for me...day or night. Everyday that my mother is on this earth, is sweeter than the day before.

I loved getting to call my mother yesterday to tell her she will have her 2nd granddaughter. I love that I will now have new "mother" things to talk about with raising my daughter. I am so blessed beyond words for this wonderful gift. I pray that my relationship with Emma will be just as close as my relationship with my mother. My mother has been my rock this past year, and I hope to one day be able to be that "Rock" for Emma.

Thank you God for my daughter!

My Little Boy Silas

Do you like Silas' hair? If you know my Silas, then you know he sucks his two middle fingers on his right hand and twirls his hair with his left hand. This used to happen all the time, but lately, we have noticed that he only sucks his fingers when he is tired, going to sleep or has gotten in trouble. Since he "twirled" his hair in his fingers, we had been keeping his hair a little longer on the top. It got to the point where the hair was just unruly. I mean, it would just NOT lay down and it got too long to "style". So, Saturday, I asked Ed if we would cut the boys hair. He has already been cutting Timmy's hair, and I finally gave in and told Ed to cut Silas' hair short all over. I must say...he looks quite adorable with his hair cut so short. He no longer can "twirl" his hair, but he rubs and pats his hair instead. He looks like such a big boy.

Everytime I look at him now, I realize he is going to be a big brother. I can't believe that Silas is not going to be the "baby" anymore. I know that my baby isn't due until January, and I will cherish EVERY moment of this time keeping Silas as my baby. At the same time, he will need to transition to a big boy bed because the crib needs to be for the baby. The bed is already set up in Timmy's room, but the thought of Silas being more mobile isn't something we are quite ready for. I always look at the boys before I go to bed, and last night, I noticed that Silas is getting so long, that he really only has about a foot left before he will be too big for the crib. I guess one day, we are just going to have to get brave and try it out.

I know...he can't be a baby forever...but he will always be "my" baby! A gift God gave to me the summer after I miscarried the first time. God is good, all the time, all the time, God is good.