My Grandpa

May 27, 1924 - July 31, 2011

I lost my grandpa yesterday.

It's hard being 33 weeks pregnant living in Texas and unable to fly up for the funeral. I want to be there so bad! It's been a long journey of suffering for my grandpa since his first stroke in 1995. Being in a rest home for 15 plus years hasn't been easy on any of us. The past couple of years grandpa didn't know some of us when we visited, and it was really hard to see him unable to talk, laugh, walk or run. But now, he is walking on the streets of gold. Seeing his Savior face to face. Reunited with Grandma who passed in 1993.

My dad is the oldest child in his family, and when I would go with him to visit his dad, my grandpa, it warmed my heart to see my dad rub grandpa's forehead, hold his hand...showing such comfort to him. My dad was by his side when he took his last breath. I can only imagine the moment when he opened his eyes in heaven....

I have many, many precious memories of my grandpa from my childhood. We lived in a house behind their house, so we were practically at grandpa and grandma's house everyday! We had picnics at the red picnic table in the back yard, my sisters and I would play store in the well house, sitting on the front porch with grandpa and grandma and watching the cars go by, playing on his blue car carrier truck from work, picking vegetables in the garden next to his house, going to their house during winter storms when the power would go out because they had a gas stove, family dinners at the dining room table when grandma would make a delicious ham, riding the bus with grandpa when he would pick up children for the bus ministry, eating big lifesaver suckers on the bus, walking into the kitchen and seeing him and my dad drinking a cup of coffee, watching grandpa and grandma reading the Bible together in their chair in their bedroom every night, Listerine, the green buick, the yellow van, those blue works shirts and blue pants, walking in and watching him shine his shoes on his shoe holder box, going to the second floor and talking to grandpa and grandma through the vent on the floor, listening to grandpa laugh and laugh at Home Alone, watching how my grandpa would care for my grandma after her strokes, seeing how much he missed grandma when she passed away....

I know that grandpa is in a better place, he isn't suffering anymore, and he now has a glorified body, but I still miss him and can't wait to see him again in Heaven!

Long Overdue Update

Hello one and all....October 2010 was a LOOOONNNGGG time ago, and so much has happened in our life since then. I will make bullet points to highlight the main events.

*Ed moved to Round Rock, TX on January 28, 2011 to secure employment, and the kids and I stayed in NC so I could continue working until then.

*We announced on February 14th, that we were having baby #4! Unexpected, unplanned blessing.

*Ed secured employment at Sears Holdings Call Center starting March 14th, and came up to NC to move us down the first weekend in March.

*We moved in with friends of ours until we could locate an apartment/house of our own.

*Ed had an interview at Dell for a sales position...did not receive an offer, BUT on the same day, I was given the opportunity to watch our friend's three boys. This was an answer to prayer because I needed to find some type of employment, but needed to be able to do it from home with the kiddos.

*Found a 4 bedroom, 2 1/2 bath house for rent within our price range! We happened upon this house when we were looking for a different house. We called the realtor, found out the price of rent, and schedule a walk through for later in that day. By the end of the day, the house was ours.

*Moved into our house on April 16th. It was like Christmas opening up my boxes that had been in storage since October 2009.

*Found out on May 18th, that our baby #4 is a BOY! Jeremiah Neil Lockwood will be arriving via c-section sometime around the middle of September. Looks like I can sell my baby girl clothes and buy some much needed boy clothes.

We are looking forward to the summertime, and having Timmy home with us everyday. Ed is currently looking for other employment with better pay to help us make ends meet better. Also, my mom is arriving on June 7th for a couple of weeks, so it will be amazing to have a taste of home. I can't wait to show her my house. I really want to try and stay on top of this blogging thing. I am contemplating doing the project 365 starting memorial day so that I can get the blogs bound in a book about our year. It will just require me to remember to take a picture each day.

I hope you enjoyed this update...I am not sure if I even have any readers anymore. But oh well...

Oh The Beauty

I am sitting here drinking a lovely cup of Starbucks coffee (that I won as a door prize at MOPS on Tuesday), looking out the window at the BEAUTIFUL fall day the Lord has given us, with 2 beautiful babies rolling around at my feet. Silas (3) and Emma (9 mo.) are playing BEAUTIFULLY together...for the moment.

It's Thursday...my day off...and as my to do list sits unchecked, I have to take the time and be truly thankful for the BEAUTY of the moment. As you read in my last post, Texas has really been on my heart lately...the where/when/how has really been pulling me down...however, last night at church...God gave the most amazing sermon to Pastor Fletcher, and it was EXACTLY what I needed to hear. He preached on the Power Of Prayer. There were so many great nuggets of truth, that I am still dwelling on the sermon today. For so long, I have been guilty of not praying in faith about our move to Texas. I pray, but not believing, that anything will change. In I Thessalonians, it says we are to PRAY WITHOUT CEASING. I have NOT been praying without ceasing. I have not really poured my heart out to God daily, hourly, minute by minute like I should. I have just been waiting around to see what doors God will open for us. I was truly convicted last night about how I have been viewing my life as so burdensome because we don't know what's next. But I need to stop and be thankful for the BEAUTY of everything around me. I have an amazing husband that GOD made just for me, I have 3 beautiful children who are healthy, I have wonderful parents who haven't kicked us to the curb after a year of living with them :),I have 2 precious sisters that I have been able to spend SOOO much time with this past year, and EVERYDAY I get to see God's BEAUTIFUL creation. I have taken so many of these things for granted, and I hope and pray that I will not let myself get so burden down with the things in my world, that I forget to embrace the BEAUTY of the moment!

Until Next Time

The Eyes Of Texas

Last time I updated, I said I would dedicate a post to Texas. So, here goes....

Most everyone knows already, but Ed and I feel like the Lord wants us back in Texas. We are not sure about how, when, etc., but we do know that Texas is where we will move next.

We have been living with my parents in NC since October 24, 2009. We are EXTREMELY grateful to my parents for opening up their home to our family of 5. Eight people, three of them being under the age of 8, can be a little crowded at times. I am normally an extremely organized person. I wouldn't go as to say I am obsessive about it, but you can ask Ed, in the past, I was extremely organized. I long to be that way again, but it's been hard for me to organize my life in the our living space in my parent's house. I am so looking forward to having a place of our own again, (not that I'm unhappy here at my parents), but ready to get a structured schedule going for our family. Living with my parents has helped us to get caught up on our bills, and even pay some debt off so it's definitely been a blessing. But after a year, we feel like it's time to grow our roots elsewhere. The question is...where?!?!

We know beyond a shadow of doubt that Texas is where we will be one day. Ed and I have been pursuing employment down in the Austin/Round Rock area. I have even been applying at jobs back at UMHB, but we haven't had much response. Ed did receive a phone interview with Dell Computers back in August, but it didn't pan out. Ed has heard from a couple of companies that says, "When you move down here, give us a call." Well, Ed and I do not have a peace about moving our families to Texas without employment first. When we moved to GA, we struggled for 2 months before employment was obtained. We both have been seeking God's face as to HIS will for us...what's our next step...when do we go....

So....now we wait. We continue with the life we have made for ourselves here, and we wait to hear God say, "Move Now". If you remember, please pray for us as we wait for God's leading. We are anxious to return back "Home" to Texas, and sometimes can become a little impatient.

Until Next Time....